The Andy Dufresne List of the 00s Part 1: The Top 20-11

As we are in the final hours of the first decade of the 21^st Century, there are tons of lists to give you the "Best Of" of the 00s. Many times, you take a look at these lists and think "What the hell was this guy thinking." Lists like that are completely subjective, and has a heavy basis of the writer's bias. Most of these writers are self important, more interested in looking cool than show their work, and boast that their list (for whatever the subject matter) is "the definitive list". These guys make me nuts.

So why am I doing one? You ask.

I make no bones about it…this is my opinion. I don't claim to be the all knowing expert. I haven't heard every song that has been recorded since January 2000, and there is no hip hop or country music in this top 20. I'm just not well versed in hip hop, and I can't justify the honoring any song that shares a radio playlist with "Chicken Fry" by Zac Brown. This list only notes the 20 songs that knocked on my ass and made me pause. It's kinda like that scene in The Shawshank Redemption, when Andy Dufresne plays "Che Soave Zeffiretto" from Mozart's Le Nozze Di Figaro over the PA system, and the prisoners stand in stunned silence. In one way or the other, I had the same reaction the first time I heard each of these songs. I stopped what I was doing and just listened. Some of these songs may lack the same sense of beauty that is carried in The Marriage of Figaro, but they all reminded me why I love music so much.

But, before we get to the list, I really want to toss this little nugget into the best of stream of consciousness.

The Best Inside Joke of the 00s – "It's My Life" by Paul Anka (2005)
On first listen, there is nothing special to the 2005 CD Rock Swings by Paul Anka. The concept wasn't revolutionary; an entire compilation of taking songs from one genre and rearranging them to fit another. By 2005, not that many people knew/remembered who Paul Anka was, besides that he was the pit boss in the first five minutes of that crap Vegas movie 2000 Miles To Graceland. Plus many thought that if he was going to catch lightning in a bottle, he was eight years too late to cash in on the swing revival (thanks to Jon Favreau).

What endears the song to me is not that it's an improvement to a Bon Jovi song (which as it turns out,
the secret is to have someone besides Jon Bon Jovi singing it), is the chorus of the song.

It's my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

It's a nice little nod from one Jersey guy to another. But if you look at the back story of "My Way", you find that Sinatra didn't write it. "My Way" was composed by (wait for it) Paul Anka. So in essence, Paul Anka is quoting Jon Bon Jovi, who is quoting Frank Sinatra, who is quoting Paul Anka. It goes around in a circle, just like Pop Up Video. Thanks Paul for making me and other music geeks smile at that.

And now, as Casey would say, on with the countdown.

20. If Only She Knew – O.A.R. (2001)
Before they hit the main stream in 2008, this Columbus, Ohio band was the darling of college rock radio stations. Still riding the dying wave of ska, the band released Risen in 2001. The fourth track of that CD opens with an acoustic guitar solo then erupts with horns and a ska/reggae rhythm. The song speculates on what would happen if the object of the storyteller's affection knew his true feelings. While the song may not have the real emotional depth that one would expect with a list such as this, it harkens back to feelings that I'm sure anyone who has a Y-Chromosome can recall. If this song doesn't conjure a specific memory involving quarter beer night, skipping a philosophy class, and really wanting to go to bed with the hot girl d' jour, then you're just not trying.

19. Papercut – Linkin Park (2000)


It's hard not to be impressed with the opening track of Hybrid Theory. The haunting lyrics about an individual's paranoia give you not only an uneasy feeling of angst, but the hope of normalcy. After listening to this, you get the feeling that this is what the Beastie Boys would sound like if they had taken performance enhancing drugs and spent four months in a room with no windows. Truly stunning.

18. Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me – The Pipettes (2007)
Sure, you can say that Brit-pop from late 2005-2008 was pretty much all the same. You have girls with cockney accents trying to relive the early 60s music with modern themes. There's a bit of a repetitive drab you get from Lily Allen, Duffy and Amy Winehouse that seems to make this era across the pond a one trick pony. While The Pipettes do fall into this pattern, their delivery on "Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me" seems flawless. Unlike Winehouse's, the song isn't a darker, almost farcical version of classic music. Of course, Shirley Bassey never sang about going to rehab, and I never really wondered what it would sound like if she did. That's why I like the Pipettes so much. This song is just a throwback, and it's quite refreshing.

17. The Devil Went Down To Georgia – Johnny Socko (2000)
OK. You've got me. There is a Hoosier State bias on this one. I have seen Johnny Socko live countless times, many of there shows were at the Bluebird in Bloomington. In fact, I was at the live show that was recorded for their triple live CD. However, the version of this song that I am talking about isn't the live dance song, but part of a sampler for their Quarto CD (which ironically enough, it's not on Quarto). This era for Johnny Socko served as a transition period, as the band started to move away from the horn heavy sound to a more guitar centric feel. They also get bonus points for riffing "Sweet Child of Mine" in the Devil's solo, proving that Guns and Roses (Axel Rose, by the way is another Indiana guy, but he's from Lafayette) has got to be the soundtrack to Hell.

16. Baby Fratelli – The Fratellis (2006)
This song has a couple of deep meanings for me. Firstly, I heard it for the first time on WOXY.com (while they were still headquartered in Oxford, OH) as an advance single for their CD Costello Music, which was already released in the UK. Secondly, this is how I learned that you can't access iTunes UK from the colonies. So I had to wait for two months until it was officially released in the United States. God, I hate the record industry.

15. Hate It Here – Wilco (2008)
I want to lead off this one by suggesting that Chicago based Wilco is the most underrated band from the last 30 years. They have had arguably two of the best albums of the 2000s (Yankee Foxtrot Hotel and Sky Blue Sky). "Hate it Here" starts with Jeff Tweedy singing about keeping busy after his girlfriend has left him. The song then takes a sharp right turn into "Come Together". It then goes back and forth with Tweedy waiting in vain for his beloved to come back, and telling us that he hates being in their home alone.

14. Stuck Between Stations – The Hold Steady (2006)


Honestly, if I didn't live in Minnesota, I'd still be all about these guys. I was originally turned on to this Minneapolis band by fellow Cub sufferer The Reach right after the CD Boys And Girls in America was released. The opening of the song almost makes you think that this is going to be an 80s pop metal tribute song, then the keyboards come in. The lyrics start off quoting On The Road—

There are nights when I think Sal Paradise was right.
Boys and Girls in America have such a sad time together.

—And then it launches into a Springsteen-esque aria about poet John Berryman's suicide in 1972 who leapt from the Washington Street Bridge in Minneapolis. Lead singer Craig Finn, truly a lover of great literature and poetry. Now, if he would just read my book…

13. I and Love and You – The Avett Brothers (2009)
The only reason that this song doesn't rank higher is that it's too new. I just can't justify putting a song in the top 10 of a decade after only being exposed to it for just two months. I fear that my current obsession with this song might cloud my judgment, and proclaim it better than songs that have settled in the musical stream of consciousness. If this song had a couple of more years on it, then it may finish much higher (or a lot lower…who knows). As I had written in my November 20^th post, the song hit me like a ton of bricks on the way home from my wife's school's Fall Ball.

12. Fallen For You – Sheila Nicholls (2000)
If "Funkytown" (1979) can be played on a bunch of 80s stations, then "Fallen For You" qualifies for this list. Yes, I recognize that the source album Brief Stop was released on November 16, 1999, but it wasn't until its appearance in the 2000 film High Fidelity that most people in The States had heard it. This heartbreaking love confession interruptus is only backed up with a piano. Sheila stops short of letting out every detail of her feelings when she realizes that her love is not requited, and that her interpretations of romantic gestures by the man of her dreams (or woman, Sheila is bi after all) were actually intended for another woman.

11. Diablo Rojo – Rodrigo y Gabriela (2006)


So you have a duo from Mexico that plays traditional Spanish Flamenco guitars that earned their notoriety after relocating to Ireland. It sounds less like a story about an up and coming band and more like a World Cup of Soccer schedule. Diablo Rojo takes its name, and feel, from a roller coaster (named Red Devil) in Denmark. The song starts off slowly, and then takes off at breakneck speed. The thing that you have to keep in mind is that there are just two people playing. There are no backup studio musicians, or multi track overlays in the song. They recorded it as if they are performing live. Gabriela's mano-dexterity and unshakeable rhythm is unearthly, and Rodrigo's hypnotic melody line adds to a true musical treat.

And The Nominees Are – Anthology X1: The Demon Barber of Seville

It started in early 2000. I was helping my friend Todd move when he threw down the proverbial gauntlet as he tossed me a six CD wallet filled with store sampler discs.

"I bet that you can't fill this wallet with the music of your life," he challenged.

Todd and I had recently discussed the Robert Fulgham book Words I Wish I Wrote. The passage in question revolves around Fulgham's thoughts on a soundtrack of a person's life (incidentally, Todd has written on this topic as well).

If your life were made into a movie, and that movie had an appropriate soundtrack, and I went to a record store to buy a CD of the music, what would be on it? What mood would it leave me in when I played it? The questions necessarily impose limitations. The music must fit on a single CD; choices must be made. No defense of choice is necessary. It's assumed the selections will be idiosyncratic, combining some music in the common realm with bits and pieces of melody patched together from who knows where. The music of the soundtrack of a life will not be original, but it has passed into us, left its sound in the jukebox of the mind, become part of us, and we will likely pass it on.

"Six CDs", I scoffed. "No problem."

"There are rules," Todd said.

"Sure."

"It must be chronological as an autobiographical work."

"OK. Easy enough."

"And you can't use the same artist twice in one CD, or variations of the same artist. For example, you can't have the Beatles and solo Lennon or Wings on the same disc."

"You bastard!"

To make things more difficult, the challenge was to make six CDs, not tapes. In 2000, that capability was very new to me, and I had yet to put together a successful mix CD. Keep in mind, this was in an era before iTunes for Windows, so it's not like I could rip a CD and just keep a playlist. I had to approach this as I did with a mix tape. I had to write down all of the nominated songs on a legal pad, and mark the significance (not part of the wager, however it was good for a defense, just in case Todd demanded me to show my work upon completion).

Another obstacle was that most of the songs that I wanted to include were archived on cassette or vinyl, so I would have to make more than 50 digital copies of songs…in real time.

From conception to end, the project took three months, 96 songs, and ten 74 minute CDs (I had several false starts and disc errors). This was the beginning of what I called the Anthology Project. The first six volumes were titled From DNA to 26. The first three were completed in April 2000, and the last three were finished in June 2000. Since then, I have added four new volumes (which have all been a two disc set), one every two years. I have also reissued the first nine volumes two years ago, adding a bonus track per CD to take advantage of the 80 minute CD capability.

Yes, I am a music geek.

As tradition would dictate, the list of nominations concludes the day after Christmas every odd year. I'd then spend the next week reviewing every song, and making cuts from the list. Then I would burn the CD and release the track list on the day after New Year's Day of an even year.

As this is not a mix CD, but rather a chronicle, this collection falls out of the rules of the Mix CD Axiom (rules that Todd and I came up with a long time ago, which I have modified over the years…it will be the feature of a future post in 2010).

I'm debating whether or not to post the previous 10 playlists. Until I figure that out, here are some fun facts about the project thus far.

• Each volume opens with the Fox Fanfare performed by Helm and Heik (available on iTunes), followed by Robert Fulgham reading the excerpt about the soundtrack (From the audio book of Words I Wish I Wrote). However, the line about the soundtrack fitting on one disc has been edited out (for obvious reasons).
  
• There are 243 actual songs on 14 CDs.
  
• Van Morrison and Elvis Costello are tied for the most songs (5). Tom Waits, Tori Amos, and Bruce Springsteen are second (4).
  
• William Shatner appears twice, which is once more than The Rolling Stones, ELO, The Smiths, Louis Armstrong, and John Lennon.
  
• Fittingly, more songs reference Todd (16) than anyone else, and he is referenced on the most volumes (5). D has the record for most songs per volume (8 songs on Anthology X).
  
• Only one other person has all ten volumes (besides me). I gave D a copy when we got engaged. I figured that if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, she was entitled to the backstory.
  
• No song is repeated, or ever will be. An alternate version or a cover may appear.
  

There are 47 songs that have been nominated in the past two years. It runs at 3:04:17, and needs to be edited to 2:38:30. Some songs deal with loss and death, while others signify pure joy. Three weddings are referenced and new friends and old ones are honored in this list. And The Nominees for Anthology X1 – The Demon Barber of Seville are…

z - One Week – Barenaked Ladies
Zip Gun Bop – Royal Crown Review
z - Remember The Rain – Brad Terry & Lenny Breau
z - All The Time – Johnny Mathis
z - Fever – Buddy Guy
Falling Slowly – The Swell Season
Blitzed – The Raveonettes
z - Mother Mary – Foxboro Hot Tubs
Mercy – Duffy
z - Skinny Love – Bon Iver
z - Don't Stand So Close To Me – The Police
Where Is My Mind? – The Pixies
St. James Infirmary – Cab Calloway
z - The Way It Is – Nicole Atkins
She's My Best Friend – The Velvet Underground
My Way – Gary Oldman (From Sid and Nancy)
Janine – Soul Coughing
z - Never Going Back Again (Live) – Lindsey Buckingham
z - Ring The Bells – James
I Found a Reason – Cat Power
Trash – New York Dolls
Breath Me – Sia
You're Going To Make Me Lonesome When You Go – Madeleine Peyroux
Sad Professor – REM
z - The Great Defector – Bell X1
z - A Thousand Eyes – Crystal Antlers
z - Canon In D – Sharp Jimmy and the Damn It Five
American Wedding – Gogol Bordello
Percussion Gun – White Rabbits
Matter of Time – Los Lobos and Elvis Costello
z - Jump Into The Fire – Harry Nilsson
I Put a Spell On You – Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop – Landon Pigg
House of the Rising Sun – Nina Simone
z - Straight To The Top (Vegas) – Tom Waits
z - Happy As Can Be – Cut Off Your Hands
z - 40 Day Dream – Edward Sharp & The Magnetic Zeros
F.N.T. – Semisonic
The Rainbow Connection – Willie Nelson
z - Never Forget – Dropkick Murphies
I'll Follow The Sun – Glen Phillips
z - I and Love and You – The Avett Brothers
Take Me Home – Holly Cole
Sloop John B. – Joseph Spence
Thanksgiving – Poi Dog Pondering
z - Grass – XTC
Norwegian Wood – Jeremy Messersmith and Zach Coulter
z – Already Guaranteed a Spot

Bahamian Rhapsody – Joseph Spence and Santa Clause

Without a doubt, it's the most bizarre and jarring version of a traditional holiday song ever recorded. You're not sure if it's serious, a joke, really bad, or genius. Joseph Spence's cover of "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" certainly has its own sound.

Before you pass judgment on this song, consider this. Joseph Spence was born in the Bahamas in 1910, and he is considered a musical hero to the Bahamians. Most of his songs deal a lot less with actual…what do you call them… words, and focuses more on impromptu vocalizations. It's not like he forgot the words to the song, or doesn't speak English very well, that's just his style (you should hear his version of Sloop John B. It's worth the 99 cents on Amazon). Spence also became one of the pioneers of tuning his guitar differently, a technique called "Drop D Tuning". There are some that consider him the "Thelonious Monk of Folk Guitar".

That being said—

Just because something is revolutionary, it doesn't mean that it's genius. Jimi Hendrix strung his guitar upside down. That was genius. An insurance company uses a lizard to sell its product. That's not genius. Spence's musical style falls somewhere in between this spectrum. Granted, it's strange to hear this song as "Sandy Clarw is Coming Heaaaaaaan"; however, there is wiggle room for interesting interpretation for this song. It's not a Shakespearian Sonnet, it's a crappy Christmas song for the love of all things holy. It's a nice curve ball to the mundane repetitive drone we hear from the day after Thanksgiving until 11:59pm on December 25. However, I don't think it's much more than that.

Non Christmas-Christmas Music Volume 2 – Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis

It's a little bit of holiday cheer…well, sort of. Tom Wait's signature holiday song really has little to do with Christmas (as the title of this post would indicate).

As Waits is known for his unique prose that are often quite poetic, and yet would make Thoreau blush and maybe even pray, this song is quite simplistic. The plot of the story of the song is the title, "Christmas Card From a Hooker In Minneapolis". This is the inside message of a Christmas card sent to a man named Charlie from an unidentified woman. It's unclear what the relationship between the woman and Charlie is, but you kinda get the sense that Charlie is the poor shlum who has undying feelings for this woman (she is quite aware of it) and has a history of bailing her out of trouble, no matter how much she has screwed up.

The Amsterdam Hotel, on the corner of 9th and Hennepin, could have been a home to a hooker that sent out a Christmas Card.

The only reference to Christmas in the piece is in the title. The song would have a totally different meaning if were titled "Letter From a Hooker In Minneapolis". In fact, some who live in the City of Lakes claim that the song has very little to do with Minneapolis. In the song, the woman states that she lives above a dirty book store on 9^th and Euclid. There is no 9^th and Euclid in Minneapolis. However, there is a 9^th and Hennepin (which is a title to a song Tom would record 7 years later). In the late 70s (when this song was written), 9^th and Hennepin was a seedy part of downtown. If there was a dirty book store, that would be a good location to have one. Since then, that stretch of Hennepin has become the city's theater district.

As the story opens, the woman tells Charlie that she has a man who is a musician. She's with child, and they are about to start a family. The musician is unphased by the fact that he is not the father. She lets on that things are going well for her (except that someone stole her record player). As the song closes, she has her moment of honesty. She says that there is no guy that is taking care of her, and she's in jail. She hints to Charlie that she needs a large sum of money to pay off her lawyer. She butters him up by telling Charlie that there's a possibility that she will be out of the pokey on Valentine's Day.

Several years ago, Neko Case did a cover of this song for a Tom Waits tribute CD. It's strange to say this, but it's almost wrong to hear a female sing this song. Part of the charm of the song is Wait's gruff voice belting out "Charlie I'm Pregnant" to open the song. It's just wrong to hear it otherwise.

Non Christmas-Christmas Music Volume 1: 2000 Miles

This is the first of a two part series. I know that there are other songs that are miscast. However, now that this is the holiday season, I thought that I would focus on two "Christmas songs" that really aren't Christmas songs.

A little more than a year after the VBC launched, I added the song "2000 Miles" by the Pretenders into the regular rotation. Not too long after it stated to play, someone (their identity will remain safe) pulled me aside.

"Why are you playing this song?"

"It's a great song. Why wouldn't I play it?"

"It's February," the person said slowly.

"And?"

"It's a Christmas song."

All I could do is take a deep breath, and shake my head.

To say that "2000 Miles" is a Christmas song is to say that The Godfather is a holiday film. It has to be. There is one scene when Al Martino's "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" plays. It's right before Luca Brasi started sleeping with the fishes.

"2000 Miles" is actually about a long distance relationship. At the beginning of the song, Chrissie Hynde's opening line "He's gone," is utterly heartbreaking. Her lover has just left, and that moment has just become the longest possible amount of time before she will be reunited with him. The next time that they will be together will be on Christmas.

That's the only thing that the song has to do with Christmas.



The song has a bit of significance to me. When D and I first got together, we were a long distance relationship. I lived in Minneapolis, and she resided in Costa Mesa, California. We were literally 2000 miles away (according to Google Maps it's only 1,935 miles, but still). "2000 Miles" was the opening track to the second mix CD I made for her, which by the way was not a Christmas CD. Plus, I live in Minnesota. The line "The snow is falling down, it gets colder day by day" can be ANY day…not just "Christmas time". The song pretty much summed up the first few chapters of our relationship, until she moved out here (which when we're at this time of the year, we both wonder why I didn't move to California, Uber Allas).

The song was also miscast in 2007 in an episode of Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. I loved that show (and apparently, only one of 12 people in the country that did), and Aaron Sorkin usually does a great job of using music in his stories, but he really missed the mark for this one. At the conclusion of "The Harriet Dinner Part 2", Danny and Jordan finally get off the roof of Studio 60(and get it on), Matt gets rejected by one of the Bombshell Babies about an hour after he found out that Harriet was considering sleeping with his old rival, and the stage of the Addison Theater gets ripped up because a viper, coyote, and a ferret are trapped underneath. None of these plot points have anything to do with a long distance relationship…or Christmas. To be fair, I know that Sorkin is a fan of the Pretenders, He used "Hymn to Her" in an episode of Sports Night (again, its uses is a stretch for the plot).

The song has been covered a couple of times. KT Tunstall released it couple of years ago for a holiday EP, and Sheryl Crow and Coldplay have taken a crack at it.

Don't get me wrong. I certainly can feel the spirit of the season while listening to "2000 Miles" and sipping on some egg nog or wassail…or whatever's handy. I'd just like to hear a radio station play it during the other 11 months of the year.

See Ya On The Way Back Down

Also posted on the Indy Star blog Tales of a Hoosier Ex-Pat

The Kentucky Wildcats should be congratulated on their 90-73 victory over a tenacious Indiana University squad looking for their 5^th win. Kentucky and Indiana are two teams at different stages. Kentucky is playing at a championship level with the ability to make huge runs. They look a lot like the UNC team that took home the national championship in April, and is my early choice to run everyone they face out of the bracket this spring. They have a chance to make a run at Indiana's undefeated mark (unless my old friend Bruce Pearl has anything to say about it).

Indiana is in year two of Extreme Makeover: College Basketball Edition. It's not so much a rebuilding year, but more of a reconstruction effort so massive, it may qualify for stimulus money. The Hoosiers had some early missteps this year, including an embarrassing loss to my wife's alma mater, Boston University (which she has not let me forget). They did get a huge road win over Pitt earlier in the week. It's not like taking down UNC or Michigan State, but it's a win over a really good team. Indiana has a great freshman in Mo Creek (play on Mo Cheeks), and junior transfer Jeremiah Rivers plays with an energy level that the Hoosier Nation hasn't seen since a young A.J. Moye donned number 2. Plus, Indiana has the energetic young coach it's been looking for since they jettisoned Robert Montgomery Knight.

Next year, Indiana will contend for a Big Ten title. Next year, Kentucky may be under the microscope.

So this part of the post is to the Kentucky faithful. Look, I know that we haven't always gotten along. Actually we really don't like each other all that much, but I beg of you…boot John Calipari as soon as possible.

Please.

I know what you're thinking. I'm a bitter, jealous Indiana apologist who wants to taint the victory with unfounded accusations of wrong doing by bringing in ringers and ineligible rent-a-players.

Calipari is a bad guy.

Really.

His résumé says that Coach Cal has made two Final Fours. In reality, he has had team scrimmage in two "Final Threes". His first star Marcus Camby took $20,000, bling, and prostitutes from an agent (Sidebar: Really, you needed prostitutes…you went to UMass. You couldn't find a cadre of college women who were willing to throw themselves at you…at the same time? You're Marcus Camby, Dammit!). Neither the school nor Calipari were implicated in the scandal. However, the NCAA declared Camby ineligible, each game was vacated, and Calipari bolted to New Jersey. No further investigation was warranted.

Coach Cal found his way to Memphis after failing in the NBA. He started to build up a Tiger program that needed a renaissance. Memphis slowly started to build the dominate program in Conference USA (which isn't saying much. Oooo you beat the crap out of DePaul).Then Calipari recruited a Chicago guy named Derrick Rose. He wasn't too bright, so somebody else took the SAT for him. Oddly enough, the NCAA thought that it sounded like academic fraud. Once again, Calipari was not implicated, but Memphis lost their second Final Four (1985 was vacated as well). There was no further investigation, because Rose left the school to go to the NBA, and Calipari left for Kentucky.

This year at Kentucky, Cal has John Wall. He's an almost definite rent-a-player who will declare himself eligible for the NBA Draft that will either land him in Minnesota or New Jersey (which would be ironic). Calipari says that he's a real student with a 3.something suspect GPA. It's hard to believe him considering Cal's previous educational standards. How do we know that he's been doing his own work? I don't really like making an accusation like that, but if you look at Cal's body of work, it's easy to assume the worst. It wouldn't be that hard to pull off. Just ask Clem Haskins.

This guy is dirty. Sure, he wasn't implicated either time, but these things seem to happen on his watch. For as much as I hate Kentucky, I would really hate to see a program I respect tarnished again. When the Eddie Sutton scandal rained hell on Lexington, I thought that it was sad. Kentucky was a great adversary, and watching that team gutted because someone was unscrupulous was hard to. It watered down a great rivalry.

Look, I know what I am talking about. Indiana hired a guy that smelled of scandal several years ago, and they knew he was a bad guy. They did it anyway. Kelvin Sampson single handedly destroyed a storied tradition, and besmirched a program that prided itself on being clean. Indiana is starting over again. Please, Kentucky, don't do the same thing.

I feel like the guy telling a female friend that the guy she's dating is dangerous, and she's screaming back. "You just don't know him." Then I would say, "Sweetie, I know his kind."

We had Kelvin Sampson.

We can recognize a dirty coach.

If not, then, we'll see you on the way back down.

Across the Universe

I'm going to lose some street cred on the initial statement, but by the end of this, I believe my point may be made. Since nobody else will say it, I will. The Beatles are overrated.

Now, let me clarify that statement. The later Beatles catalogue makes up for the earlier work, but if you're grading on an average, the Beatles are far from being the A students for which almost everyone gives them credit. If you step back and take into account what was going on in the United States on February 9, 1964 you'll understand the inflated stock. We were only 2 months removed from losing John F. Kennedy, and there was a troop escalation in a faraway place called Vietnam. The collective mood of the country was extremely low (except for Jimmy Hoffa and the CIA), and we were looking for something to lift our spirits. Enter four well dressed lads from Liverpool. They crossed the pond to the right place at the right time to hang out with Ed Sullivan. The country was taken by storm with such inane lyrics like "She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah," and "I want to hold your hand." Suddenly we had found the youth, charm, and innocent optimism that we lost in Dallas on a Friday afternoon. If the Beatles had missed that window by four months either way they would have been no bigger in this country than say, Queen.

In truth, the Beatles were nothing more than the boy band of its day. With songs like "I Saw Her Standing There" and "From Me To You", they would have been touring malls if they debuted in the late 80's. Even the British icon of cool dissed the Beatles in 1964. James Bond in Goldfinger remarked "there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!"

The Beatles started to make some strides, and by the time Revolver came out, the new Beatles sound was mature, serious, and had the hint of some major drug induced writing sessions. In the later years, there were only a few missteps the fab four had. Yoko and letting Ringo sing seems to top the list. Musically, there was one song that stuck out…"Across the Universe".

Until several years ago, I never liked that song, and I still don't like the Beatles version. To me, the mood of the vocals just didn't match the mood of the guitar. I have always thought that George Harrison's guitar begged for John Lennon to sing the song with more melancholy. To me, it was obvious that George and John were not in the studio at the same time. Such promise for a lyrically beautiful song that just wasn't realized.

Since then, "Across the Universe" has been covered many times in many different styles. There are over 150 different versions that you can buy on amazon.com (however the original isn't one of them). There are versions by David Bowie, Jackson Browne, the cover from the crappy movie of same name (another post for another day), and a beautiful solo piano version by André Mehmari.

One of the more notable covers in the last 15 years was released in 1999 for the Pleasantville soundtrack. Again the voice was a miscast. The producers of the film wanted to make a splash for the soundtrack, and they brought in Fiona Apple. She was off the heels of her phenomenal debut CD Tidal, and was preparing her second album. Fiona's jazzy low vocals didn't match the instrumentation. A nice try, but I still couldn't hear that song and feel the way I had always thought I should.

Then by chance, a second generation recording artist nailed the song three years later. Rufus Wainwright's bonus track from the CD Poses possesses everything that I was looking for in the song. His voice blends perfectly with the guitar, and feeds the need to close your eyes and just enjoy the song. For the first time, the mix was right, and Rufus's version had become the gold standard.

There have been two versions released this year. I have yet to hear the Cyndi Lauper version, but I did hear the unfortunate cover by Minnesota native Nicholas "The Feelin" Mrozinski. We'll just add it to a list of others who tried to match what Rufus did.

The Two Penny is Back

Ian Shane: The Blog retakes its original name. The Two Penny Opera was the title of the blog on ianshane.com from 2000-2002.

Seriously, What Do The Colts Have To Do?

Also posted on the Indy Star blog Tales of a Hoosier Ex-Pat


Firstly, I'd like to admit that I was wrong. As a long time Colt fan, I started to think that the window had closed on my beloved boys in blue. After, yet again, another devastating playoff loss at San Diego, I started to question if the Colts' era was over. Tony Dungy announced his retirement, and the team waived Marvin Harrison. The team elected to ascend Jim Caldwell as the head coach of the Colts. It sounded like good news to me at first. He had been under Dungy's tutelage for several years and had been long considered the heir apparent.

Then I looked at his résumé. His only head coaching experience was at Wake Forest.

WAKE FOREST!

It would be different if he had rebuilt the program to be a national power and the terror of the ACC. However, he finished 26-63 in eight seasons at Wake, and led the Demon Deacons to only one winning season (7-5 in 1999) and placed no higher than 5^th in the ACC. I started to get that queasy feeling that Dolphin fans who knew Big Ten football got when the Fins hired Cam Cameron.

In week one, the Colts lost Anthony Gonzales to a knee injury, Bob Sanders executed his contractually obligated right to have his annual injury, and Indy only beat the Jags 14-12 at home. Only three words crossed my mind that day.

Eight and eight (ok, technically it's only two words).

I realized that the Colts had lost two of their best receivers from the previous year, and the "heart and soul" of the defense was gone. Who was going to step up in the Wide Receiving corps? Rookie Austin Collie or some guy named Pierre Garçon? Pierre Garçon? You mean the guy who was a sixth round draft pick from a D-III school? Yeah, like that was going to happen.

It all seemed lost the next week in Miami. The Colts couldn't stop the Wildcat, and Peyton spent most of his time on the sideline with Tiger Woods. Miami dominated the game, but the score was close near the end of the game. Manning had one last chance to bring the Colts back. On the first play of the drive he threw a short pass to Garçon, his only reception of the game. He ran the ball 43 yards for a touchdown. In that moment, he became my favorite receiver.

Miami showed everyone the apparent blueprint to beat the Colts, and still couldn't put them away. The Colts had the ball for less than 15 minutes, and it was still enough to defeat the defending AFC East Champions on the road.

It occurred to me that the Colts may not be in as much trouble as I thought. Through injury after injury (Marlin Jackson and Sanders both out for the season, and Kelvin Hayden and Gonzales out for extended periods, along with Dwight Freeney and Joseph Addai missing key games), the Colts have beaten every team they have faced. Sure, they haven't looked like world beaters, but they have gutted their way through some tough spots. Out of 11 wins, six of them came after the Colts trailed in the 4^th quarter, including the satisfying win over the Pats. They know how to win. They can do it under any circumstance.

Yet every week, they are put on "upset alert". What do they have to do to earn the respect of the "experts"? Win a Super Bowl? Come back from a 31-14 deficit in the 4^th quarter against the hated Patriots? The Colts are 11-0, and still each week somebody says the Colts are going down. Nobody pulled this sort of crap when the Pats made their run two years ago; even after they were fortunate to escape Indy with a win (as many say about the Colts' week 10 victory).

True, the Colts haven't been overwhelming in their wins. In the last three games, Peyton has thrown 6 interceptions, yet they still win. So imagine what will happen when he starts playing more like the MVP candidate that he is. The Colts have been going with rookies and deep bench players on the other side of the ball, and they are still undefeated. Now imagine what that D is going to be like with both Freeney and Hayden back.

This week, the Colts will host the Tennessee Titans. True, Tennessee's offense is much different that it was in their October 11^th matchup. They carved up three teams that are better in run defense than the Colts by running a similar Wildcat offense that torched the Colts for 109 yards in Miami. However, the Colts will be facing the same defense it saw in week 5 which Manning went 36/44 for 309 yards and three TDs…and that was before Garçon found his grove. And the game is in Indy. I know that the Titans need a win more than the Colts, but that's true for every team that plays Indy.

My call, Indy 35-21 winners.

But, I have been wrong before.

Tiger Woods Owes Me Nothing

Dear Tiger Woods,

Look, I know that you've taken a bunker mentality, and probably won't surface until Augusta. You have been the butt of jokes with late night hosts (except for Letterman…he maybe your sanctuary), which I have to say have been a little dull. It's not like you're a politician that ran on family values, or somebody that has done anything other than be good at hitting a little white ball into a small hole. But I would like to talk to you for just a moment, and then you can go back to your self imposed media exile.

I think that it's nice and all that you have felt the need to send an apology to everyone after your little "incident", but it's totally unnecessary. You don't owe me an apology. In fact, you don't owe me a damn thing. You did nothing to me. You got caught cheating on your wife, and your family will never be the same. Apologize to them, and don't worry about me. You and I aren't friends, and probably never will be. You've never invited me inside your house for dinner and/or a drink. So why would I have to ushered inside the inner workings of the Woods Family now. I know that your 350ish word apology probably wasn't your idea. I'm sure it was composed by a publicist that was more worried about your public image than repairing your marriage.

You've only been a golfer to me, and nothing more. When I got married in September, I can tell you that I never thought, "Hey, what would Tiger Woods do." In fact, the only time when I thought that, it was when I was playing mini-golf (which by the way, cost me the match). I only look to you as the only compelling thing in professional golf. In fact, in my mind, when you aren't playing in a tour event, you don't exist. Your "transgression" doesn't affect my life, my marriage, or my desire to buy Nike shoes or Gatorade.

So take my advice. Make up with your wife, or divorce her…it is America after all. Just do it in the privacy in your own home. I know that others think that they are entitled to know what you're doing, but they aren't. If they care that much about this, they can call you and invite you out for tea and ask. When I'm in line at the grocery store and I see you on the cover of a magazine, it had better be Sports Illustrated, and not on Us Weekly…that's strictly reserved for Brad, Jen and Angelina.

Good luck, and don't watch ESPN for at least a month (except for Stanford's Bowl Game…Go Cardinal!). In fact, don't watch TV or listen to radio. You play golf for a living. How many "Putts" and "It's in the hole" jokes can you really hear?

Sincerely,

 
 

Ian Shane
Minneapolis