The Andy Dufresne List of the 00s Part 1: The Top 20-11

As we are in the final hours of the first decade of the 21^st Century, there are tons of lists to give you the "Best Of" of the 00s. Many times, you take a look at these lists and think "What the hell was this guy thinking." Lists like that are completely subjective, and has a heavy basis of the writer's bias. Most of these writers are self important, more interested in looking cool than show their work, and boast that their list (for whatever the subject matter) is "the definitive list". These guys make me nuts.

So why am I doing one? You ask.

I make no bones about it…this is my opinion. I don't claim to be the all knowing expert. I haven't heard every song that has been recorded since January 2000, and there is no hip hop or country music in this top 20. I'm just not well versed in hip hop, and I can't justify the honoring any song that shares a radio playlist with "Chicken Fry" by Zac Brown. This list only notes the 20 songs that knocked on my ass and made me pause. It's kinda like that scene in The Shawshank Redemption, when Andy Dufresne plays "Che Soave Zeffiretto" from Mozart's Le Nozze Di Figaro over the PA system, and the prisoners stand in stunned silence. In one way or the other, I had the same reaction the first time I heard each of these songs. I stopped what I was doing and just listened. Some of these songs may lack the same sense of beauty that is carried in The Marriage of Figaro, but they all reminded me why I love music so much.

But, before we get to the list, I really want to toss this little nugget into the best of stream of consciousness.

The Best Inside Joke of the 00s – "It's My Life" by Paul Anka (2005)
On first listen, there is nothing special to the 2005 CD Rock Swings by Paul Anka. The concept wasn't revolutionary; an entire compilation of taking songs from one genre and rearranging them to fit another. By 2005, not that many people knew/remembered who Paul Anka was, besides that he was the pit boss in the first five minutes of that crap Vegas movie 2000 Miles To Graceland. Plus many thought that if he was going to catch lightning in a bottle, he was eight years too late to cash in on the swing revival (thanks to Jon Favreau).

What endears the song to me is not that it's an improvement to a Bon Jovi song (which as it turns out,
the secret is to have someone besides Jon Bon Jovi singing it), is the chorus of the song.

It's my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

It's a nice little nod from one Jersey guy to another. But if you look at the back story of "My Way", you find that Sinatra didn't write it. "My Way" was composed by (wait for it) Paul Anka. So in essence, Paul Anka is quoting Jon Bon Jovi, who is quoting Frank Sinatra, who is quoting Paul Anka. It goes around in a circle, just like Pop Up Video. Thanks Paul for making me and other music geeks smile at that.

And now, as Casey would say, on with the countdown.

20. If Only She Knew – O.A.R. (2001)
Before they hit the main stream in 2008, this Columbus, Ohio band was the darling of college rock radio stations. Still riding the dying wave of ska, the band released Risen in 2001. The fourth track of that CD opens with an acoustic guitar solo then erupts with horns and a ska/reggae rhythm. The song speculates on what would happen if the object of the storyteller's affection knew his true feelings. While the song may not have the real emotional depth that one would expect with a list such as this, it harkens back to feelings that I'm sure anyone who has a Y-Chromosome can recall. If this song doesn't conjure a specific memory involving quarter beer night, skipping a philosophy class, and really wanting to go to bed with the hot girl d' jour, then you're just not trying.

19. Papercut – Linkin Park (2000)


It's hard not to be impressed with the opening track of Hybrid Theory. The haunting lyrics about an individual's paranoia give you not only an uneasy feeling of angst, but the hope of normalcy. After listening to this, you get the feeling that this is what the Beastie Boys would sound like if they had taken performance enhancing drugs and spent four months in a room with no windows. Truly stunning.

18. Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me – The Pipettes (2007)
Sure, you can say that Brit-pop from late 2005-2008 was pretty much all the same. You have girls with cockney accents trying to relive the early 60s music with modern themes. There's a bit of a repetitive drab you get from Lily Allen, Duffy and Amy Winehouse that seems to make this era across the pond a one trick pony. While The Pipettes do fall into this pattern, their delivery on "Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me" seems flawless. Unlike Winehouse's, the song isn't a darker, almost farcical version of classic music. Of course, Shirley Bassey never sang about going to rehab, and I never really wondered what it would sound like if she did. That's why I like the Pipettes so much. This song is just a throwback, and it's quite refreshing.

17. The Devil Went Down To Georgia – Johnny Socko (2000)
OK. You've got me. There is a Hoosier State bias on this one. I have seen Johnny Socko live countless times, many of there shows were at the Bluebird in Bloomington. In fact, I was at the live show that was recorded for their triple live CD. However, the version of this song that I am talking about isn't the live dance song, but part of a sampler for their Quarto CD (which ironically enough, it's not on Quarto). This era for Johnny Socko served as a transition period, as the band started to move away from the horn heavy sound to a more guitar centric feel. They also get bonus points for riffing "Sweet Child of Mine" in the Devil's solo, proving that Guns and Roses (Axel Rose, by the way is another Indiana guy, but he's from Lafayette) has got to be the soundtrack to Hell.

16. Baby Fratelli – The Fratellis (2006)
This song has a couple of deep meanings for me. Firstly, I heard it for the first time on WOXY.com (while they were still headquartered in Oxford, OH) as an advance single for their CD Costello Music, which was already released in the UK. Secondly, this is how I learned that you can't access iTunes UK from the colonies. So I had to wait for two months until it was officially released in the United States. God, I hate the record industry.

15. Hate It Here – Wilco (2008)
I want to lead off this one by suggesting that Chicago based Wilco is the most underrated band from the last 30 years. They have had arguably two of the best albums of the 2000s (Yankee Foxtrot Hotel and Sky Blue Sky). "Hate it Here" starts with Jeff Tweedy singing about keeping busy after his girlfriend has left him. The song then takes a sharp right turn into "Come Together". It then goes back and forth with Tweedy waiting in vain for his beloved to come back, and telling us that he hates being in their home alone.

14. Stuck Between Stations – The Hold Steady (2006)


Honestly, if I didn't live in Minnesota, I'd still be all about these guys. I was originally turned on to this Minneapolis band by fellow Cub sufferer The Reach right after the CD Boys And Girls in America was released. The opening of the song almost makes you think that this is going to be an 80s pop metal tribute song, then the keyboards come in. The lyrics start off quoting On The Road—

There are nights when I think Sal Paradise was right.
Boys and Girls in America have such a sad time together.

—And then it launches into a Springsteen-esque aria about poet John Berryman's suicide in 1972 who leapt from the Washington Street Bridge in Minneapolis. Lead singer Craig Finn, truly a lover of great literature and poetry. Now, if he would just read my book…

13. I and Love and You – The Avett Brothers (2009)
The only reason that this song doesn't rank higher is that it's too new. I just can't justify putting a song in the top 10 of a decade after only being exposed to it for just two months. I fear that my current obsession with this song might cloud my judgment, and proclaim it better than songs that have settled in the musical stream of consciousness. If this song had a couple of more years on it, then it may finish much higher (or a lot lower…who knows). As I had written in my November 20^th post, the song hit me like a ton of bricks on the way home from my wife's school's Fall Ball.

12. Fallen For You – Sheila Nicholls (2000)
If "Funkytown" (1979) can be played on a bunch of 80s stations, then "Fallen For You" qualifies for this list. Yes, I recognize that the source album Brief Stop was released on November 16, 1999, but it wasn't until its appearance in the 2000 film High Fidelity that most people in The States had heard it. This heartbreaking love confession interruptus is only backed up with a piano. Sheila stops short of letting out every detail of her feelings when she realizes that her love is not requited, and that her interpretations of romantic gestures by the man of her dreams (or woman, Sheila is bi after all) were actually intended for another woman.

11. Diablo Rojo – Rodrigo y Gabriela (2006)


So you have a duo from Mexico that plays traditional Spanish Flamenco guitars that earned their notoriety after relocating to Ireland. It sounds less like a story about an up and coming band and more like a World Cup of Soccer schedule. Diablo Rojo takes its name, and feel, from a roller coaster (named Red Devil) in Denmark. The song starts off slowly, and then takes off at breakneck speed. The thing that you have to keep in mind is that there are just two people playing. There are no backup studio musicians, or multi track overlays in the song. They recorded it as if they are performing live. Gabriela's mano-dexterity and unshakeable rhythm is unearthly, and Rodrigo's hypnotic melody line adds to a true musical treat.

And The Nominees Are – Anthology X1: The Demon Barber of Seville

It started in early 2000. I was helping my friend Todd move when he threw down the proverbial gauntlet as he tossed me a six CD wallet filled with store sampler discs.

"I bet that you can't fill this wallet with the music of your life," he challenged.

Todd and I had recently discussed the Robert Fulgham book Words I Wish I Wrote. The passage in question revolves around Fulgham's thoughts on a soundtrack of a person's life (incidentally, Todd has written on this topic as well).

If your life were made into a movie, and that movie had an appropriate soundtrack, and I went to a record store to buy a CD of the music, what would be on it? What mood would it leave me in when I played it? The questions necessarily impose limitations. The music must fit on a single CD; choices must be made. No defense of choice is necessary. It's assumed the selections will be idiosyncratic, combining some music in the common realm with bits and pieces of melody patched together from who knows where. The music of the soundtrack of a life will not be original, but it has passed into us, left its sound in the jukebox of the mind, become part of us, and we will likely pass it on.

"Six CDs", I scoffed. "No problem."

"There are rules," Todd said.

"Sure."

"It must be chronological as an autobiographical work."

"OK. Easy enough."

"And you can't use the same artist twice in one CD, or variations of the same artist. For example, you can't have the Beatles and solo Lennon or Wings on the same disc."

"You bastard!"

To make things more difficult, the challenge was to make six CDs, not tapes. In 2000, that capability was very new to me, and I had yet to put together a successful mix CD. Keep in mind, this was in an era before iTunes for Windows, so it's not like I could rip a CD and just keep a playlist. I had to approach this as I did with a mix tape. I had to write down all of the nominated songs on a legal pad, and mark the significance (not part of the wager, however it was good for a defense, just in case Todd demanded me to show my work upon completion).

Another obstacle was that most of the songs that I wanted to include were archived on cassette or vinyl, so I would have to make more than 50 digital copies of songs…in real time.

From conception to end, the project took three months, 96 songs, and ten 74 minute CDs (I had several false starts and disc errors). This was the beginning of what I called the Anthology Project. The first six volumes were titled From DNA to 26. The first three were completed in April 2000, and the last three were finished in June 2000. Since then, I have added four new volumes (which have all been a two disc set), one every two years. I have also reissued the first nine volumes two years ago, adding a bonus track per CD to take advantage of the 80 minute CD capability.

Yes, I am a music geek.

As tradition would dictate, the list of nominations concludes the day after Christmas every odd year. I'd then spend the next week reviewing every song, and making cuts from the list. Then I would burn the CD and release the track list on the day after New Year's Day of an even year.

As this is not a mix CD, but rather a chronicle, this collection falls out of the rules of the Mix CD Axiom (rules that Todd and I came up with a long time ago, which I have modified over the years…it will be the feature of a future post in 2010).

I'm debating whether or not to post the previous 10 playlists. Until I figure that out, here are some fun facts about the project thus far.

• Each volume opens with the Fox Fanfare performed by Helm and Heik (available on iTunes), followed by Robert Fulgham reading the excerpt about the soundtrack (From the audio book of Words I Wish I Wrote). However, the line about the soundtrack fitting on one disc has been edited out (for obvious reasons).
  
• There are 243 actual songs on 14 CDs.
  
• Van Morrison and Elvis Costello are tied for the most songs (5). Tom Waits, Tori Amos, and Bruce Springsteen are second (4).
  
• William Shatner appears twice, which is once more than The Rolling Stones, ELO, The Smiths, Louis Armstrong, and John Lennon.
  
• Fittingly, more songs reference Todd (16) than anyone else, and he is referenced on the most volumes (5). D has the record for most songs per volume (8 songs on Anthology X).
  
• Only one other person has all ten volumes (besides me). I gave D a copy when we got engaged. I figured that if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, she was entitled to the backstory.
  
• No song is repeated, or ever will be. An alternate version or a cover may appear.
  

There are 47 songs that have been nominated in the past two years. It runs at 3:04:17, and needs to be edited to 2:38:30. Some songs deal with loss and death, while others signify pure joy. Three weddings are referenced and new friends and old ones are honored in this list. And The Nominees for Anthology X1 – The Demon Barber of Seville are…

z - One Week – Barenaked Ladies
Zip Gun Bop – Royal Crown Review
z - Remember The Rain – Brad Terry & Lenny Breau
z - All The Time – Johnny Mathis
z - Fever – Buddy Guy
Falling Slowly – The Swell Season
Blitzed – The Raveonettes
z - Mother Mary – Foxboro Hot Tubs
Mercy – Duffy
z - Skinny Love – Bon Iver
z - Don't Stand So Close To Me – The Police
Where Is My Mind? – The Pixies
St. James Infirmary – Cab Calloway
z - The Way It Is – Nicole Atkins
She's My Best Friend – The Velvet Underground
My Way – Gary Oldman (From Sid and Nancy)
Janine – Soul Coughing
z - Never Going Back Again (Live) – Lindsey Buckingham
z - Ring The Bells – James
I Found a Reason – Cat Power
Trash – New York Dolls
Breath Me – Sia
You're Going To Make Me Lonesome When You Go – Madeleine Peyroux
Sad Professor – REM
z - The Great Defector – Bell X1
z - A Thousand Eyes – Crystal Antlers
z - Canon In D – Sharp Jimmy and the Damn It Five
American Wedding – Gogol Bordello
Percussion Gun – White Rabbits
Matter of Time – Los Lobos and Elvis Costello
z - Jump Into The Fire – Harry Nilsson
I Put a Spell On You – Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop – Landon Pigg
House of the Rising Sun – Nina Simone
z - Straight To The Top (Vegas) – Tom Waits
z - Happy As Can Be – Cut Off Your Hands
z - 40 Day Dream – Edward Sharp & The Magnetic Zeros
F.N.T. – Semisonic
The Rainbow Connection – Willie Nelson
z - Never Forget – Dropkick Murphies
I'll Follow The Sun – Glen Phillips
z - I and Love and You – The Avett Brothers
Take Me Home – Holly Cole
Sloop John B. – Joseph Spence
Thanksgiving – Poi Dog Pondering
z - Grass – XTC
Norwegian Wood – Jeremy Messersmith and Zach Coulter
z – Already Guaranteed a Spot

Bahamian Rhapsody – Joseph Spence and Santa Clause

Without a doubt, it's the most bizarre and jarring version of a traditional holiday song ever recorded. You're not sure if it's serious, a joke, really bad, or genius. Joseph Spence's cover of "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" certainly has its own sound.

Before you pass judgment on this song, consider this. Joseph Spence was born in the Bahamas in 1910, and he is considered a musical hero to the Bahamians. Most of his songs deal a lot less with actual…what do you call them… words, and focuses more on impromptu vocalizations. It's not like he forgot the words to the song, or doesn't speak English very well, that's just his style (you should hear his version of Sloop John B. It's worth the 99 cents on Amazon). Spence also became one of the pioneers of tuning his guitar differently, a technique called "Drop D Tuning". There are some that consider him the "Thelonious Monk of Folk Guitar".

That being said—

Just because something is revolutionary, it doesn't mean that it's genius. Jimi Hendrix strung his guitar upside down. That was genius. An insurance company uses a lizard to sell its product. That's not genius. Spence's musical style falls somewhere in between this spectrum. Granted, it's strange to hear this song as "Sandy Clarw is Coming Heaaaaaaan"; however, there is wiggle room for interesting interpretation for this song. It's not a Shakespearian Sonnet, it's a crappy Christmas song for the love of all things holy. It's a nice curve ball to the mundane repetitive drone we hear from the day after Thanksgiving until 11:59pm on December 25. However, I don't think it's much more than that.

Non Christmas-Christmas Music Volume 2 – Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis

It's a little bit of holiday cheer…well, sort of. Tom Wait's signature holiday song really has little to do with Christmas (as the title of this post would indicate).

As Waits is known for his unique prose that are often quite poetic, and yet would make Thoreau blush and maybe even pray, this song is quite simplistic. The plot of the story of the song is the title, "Christmas Card From a Hooker In Minneapolis". This is the inside message of a Christmas card sent to a man named Charlie from an unidentified woman. It's unclear what the relationship between the woman and Charlie is, but you kinda get the sense that Charlie is the poor shlum who has undying feelings for this woman (she is quite aware of it) and has a history of bailing her out of trouble, no matter how much she has screwed up.

The Amsterdam Hotel, on the corner of 9th and Hennepin, could have been a home to a hooker that sent out a Christmas Card.

The only reference to Christmas in the piece is in the title. The song would have a totally different meaning if were titled "Letter From a Hooker In Minneapolis". In fact, some who live in the City of Lakes claim that the song has very little to do with Minneapolis. In the song, the woman states that she lives above a dirty book store on 9^th and Euclid. There is no 9^th and Euclid in Minneapolis. However, there is a 9^th and Hennepin (which is a title to a song Tom would record 7 years later). In the late 70s (when this song was written), 9^th and Hennepin was a seedy part of downtown. If there was a dirty book store, that would be a good location to have one. Since then, that stretch of Hennepin has become the city's theater district.

As the story opens, the woman tells Charlie that she has a man who is a musician. She's with child, and they are about to start a family. The musician is unphased by the fact that he is not the father. She lets on that things are going well for her (except that someone stole her record player). As the song closes, she has her moment of honesty. She says that there is no guy that is taking care of her, and she's in jail. She hints to Charlie that she needs a large sum of money to pay off her lawyer. She butters him up by telling Charlie that there's a possibility that she will be out of the pokey on Valentine's Day.

Several years ago, Neko Case did a cover of this song for a Tom Waits tribute CD. It's strange to say this, but it's almost wrong to hear a female sing this song. Part of the charm of the song is Wait's gruff voice belting out "Charlie I'm Pregnant" to open the song. It's just wrong to hear it otherwise.

Non Christmas-Christmas Music Volume 1: 2000 Miles

This is the first of a two part series. I know that there are other songs that are miscast. However, now that this is the holiday season, I thought that I would focus on two "Christmas songs" that really aren't Christmas songs.

A little more than a year after the VBC launched, I added the song "2000 Miles" by the Pretenders into the regular rotation. Not too long after it stated to play, someone (their identity will remain safe) pulled me aside.

"Why are you playing this song?"

"It's a great song. Why wouldn't I play it?"

"It's February," the person said slowly.

"And?"

"It's a Christmas song."

All I could do is take a deep breath, and shake my head.

To say that "2000 Miles" is a Christmas song is to say that The Godfather is a holiday film. It has to be. There is one scene when Al Martino's "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" plays. It's right before Luca Brasi started sleeping with the fishes.

"2000 Miles" is actually about a long distance relationship. At the beginning of the song, Chrissie Hynde's opening line "He's gone," is utterly heartbreaking. Her lover has just left, and that moment has just become the longest possible amount of time before she will be reunited with him. The next time that they will be together will be on Christmas.

That's the only thing that the song has to do with Christmas.



The song has a bit of significance to me. When D and I first got together, we were a long distance relationship. I lived in Minneapolis, and she resided in Costa Mesa, California. We were literally 2000 miles away (according to Google Maps it's only 1,935 miles, but still). "2000 Miles" was the opening track to the second mix CD I made for her, which by the way was not a Christmas CD. Plus, I live in Minnesota. The line "The snow is falling down, it gets colder day by day" can be ANY day…not just "Christmas time". The song pretty much summed up the first few chapters of our relationship, until she moved out here (which when we're at this time of the year, we both wonder why I didn't move to California, Uber Allas).

The song was also miscast in 2007 in an episode of Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. I loved that show (and apparently, only one of 12 people in the country that did), and Aaron Sorkin usually does a great job of using music in his stories, but he really missed the mark for this one. At the conclusion of "The Harriet Dinner Part 2", Danny and Jordan finally get off the roof of Studio 60(and get it on), Matt gets rejected by one of the Bombshell Babies about an hour after he found out that Harriet was considering sleeping with his old rival, and the stage of the Addison Theater gets ripped up because a viper, coyote, and a ferret are trapped underneath. None of these plot points have anything to do with a long distance relationship…or Christmas. To be fair, I know that Sorkin is a fan of the Pretenders, He used "Hymn to Her" in an episode of Sports Night (again, its uses is a stretch for the plot).

The song has been covered a couple of times. KT Tunstall released it couple of years ago for a holiday EP, and Sheryl Crow and Coldplay have taken a crack at it.

Don't get me wrong. I certainly can feel the spirit of the season while listening to "2000 Miles" and sipping on some egg nog or wassail…or whatever's handy. I'd just like to hear a radio station play it during the other 11 months of the year.

See Ya On The Way Back Down

Also posted on the Indy Star blog Tales of a Hoosier Ex-Pat

The Kentucky Wildcats should be congratulated on their 90-73 victory over a tenacious Indiana University squad looking for their 5^th win. Kentucky and Indiana are two teams at different stages. Kentucky is playing at a championship level with the ability to make huge runs. They look a lot like the UNC team that took home the national championship in April, and is my early choice to run everyone they face out of the bracket this spring. They have a chance to make a run at Indiana's undefeated mark (unless my old friend Bruce Pearl has anything to say about it).

Indiana is in year two of Extreme Makeover: College Basketball Edition. It's not so much a rebuilding year, but more of a reconstruction effort so massive, it may qualify for stimulus money. The Hoosiers had some early missteps this year, including an embarrassing loss to my wife's alma mater, Boston University (which she has not let me forget). They did get a huge road win over Pitt earlier in the week. It's not like taking down UNC or Michigan State, but it's a win over a really good team. Indiana has a great freshman in Mo Creek (play on Mo Cheeks), and junior transfer Jeremiah Rivers plays with an energy level that the Hoosier Nation hasn't seen since a young A.J. Moye donned number 2. Plus, Indiana has the energetic young coach it's been looking for since they jettisoned Robert Montgomery Knight.

Next year, Indiana will contend for a Big Ten title. Next year, Kentucky may be under the microscope.

So this part of the post is to the Kentucky faithful. Look, I know that we haven't always gotten along. Actually we really don't like each other all that much, but I beg of you…boot John Calipari as soon as possible.

Please.

I know what you're thinking. I'm a bitter, jealous Indiana apologist who wants to taint the victory with unfounded accusations of wrong doing by bringing in ringers and ineligible rent-a-players.

Calipari is a bad guy.

Really.

His résumé says that Coach Cal has made two Final Fours. In reality, he has had team scrimmage in two "Final Threes". His first star Marcus Camby took $20,000, bling, and prostitutes from an agent (Sidebar: Really, you needed prostitutes…you went to UMass. You couldn't find a cadre of college women who were willing to throw themselves at you…at the same time? You're Marcus Camby, Dammit!). Neither the school nor Calipari were implicated in the scandal. However, the NCAA declared Camby ineligible, each game was vacated, and Calipari bolted to New Jersey. No further investigation was warranted.

Coach Cal found his way to Memphis after failing in the NBA. He started to build up a Tiger program that needed a renaissance. Memphis slowly started to build the dominate program in Conference USA (which isn't saying much. Oooo you beat the crap out of DePaul).Then Calipari recruited a Chicago guy named Derrick Rose. He wasn't too bright, so somebody else took the SAT for him. Oddly enough, the NCAA thought that it sounded like academic fraud. Once again, Calipari was not implicated, but Memphis lost their second Final Four (1985 was vacated as well). There was no further investigation, because Rose left the school to go to the NBA, and Calipari left for Kentucky.

This year at Kentucky, Cal has John Wall. He's an almost definite rent-a-player who will declare himself eligible for the NBA Draft that will either land him in Minnesota or New Jersey (which would be ironic). Calipari says that he's a real student with a 3.something suspect GPA. It's hard to believe him considering Cal's previous educational standards. How do we know that he's been doing his own work? I don't really like making an accusation like that, but if you look at Cal's body of work, it's easy to assume the worst. It wouldn't be that hard to pull off. Just ask Clem Haskins.

This guy is dirty. Sure, he wasn't implicated either time, but these things seem to happen on his watch. For as much as I hate Kentucky, I would really hate to see a program I respect tarnished again. When the Eddie Sutton scandal rained hell on Lexington, I thought that it was sad. Kentucky was a great adversary, and watching that team gutted because someone was unscrupulous was hard to. It watered down a great rivalry.

Look, I know what I am talking about. Indiana hired a guy that smelled of scandal several years ago, and they knew he was a bad guy. They did it anyway. Kelvin Sampson single handedly destroyed a storied tradition, and besmirched a program that prided itself on being clean. Indiana is starting over again. Please, Kentucky, don't do the same thing.

I feel like the guy telling a female friend that the guy she's dating is dangerous, and she's screaming back. "You just don't know him." Then I would say, "Sweetie, I know his kind."

We had Kelvin Sampson.

We can recognize a dirty coach.

If not, then, we'll see you on the way back down.

Across the Universe

I'm going to lose some street cred on the initial statement, but by the end of this, I believe my point may be made. Since nobody else will say it, I will. The Beatles are overrated.

Now, let me clarify that statement. The later Beatles catalogue makes up for the earlier work, but if you're grading on an average, the Beatles are far from being the A students for which almost everyone gives them credit. If you step back and take into account what was going on in the United States on February 9, 1964 you'll understand the inflated stock. We were only 2 months removed from losing John F. Kennedy, and there was a troop escalation in a faraway place called Vietnam. The collective mood of the country was extremely low (except for Jimmy Hoffa and the CIA), and we were looking for something to lift our spirits. Enter four well dressed lads from Liverpool. They crossed the pond to the right place at the right time to hang out with Ed Sullivan. The country was taken by storm with such inane lyrics like "She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah," and "I want to hold your hand." Suddenly we had found the youth, charm, and innocent optimism that we lost in Dallas on a Friday afternoon. If the Beatles had missed that window by four months either way they would have been no bigger in this country than say, Queen.

In truth, the Beatles were nothing more than the boy band of its day. With songs like "I Saw Her Standing There" and "From Me To You", they would have been touring malls if they debuted in the late 80's. Even the British icon of cool dissed the Beatles in 1964. James Bond in Goldfinger remarked "there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!"

The Beatles started to make some strides, and by the time Revolver came out, the new Beatles sound was mature, serious, and had the hint of some major drug induced writing sessions. In the later years, there were only a few missteps the fab four had. Yoko and letting Ringo sing seems to top the list. Musically, there was one song that stuck out…"Across the Universe".

Until several years ago, I never liked that song, and I still don't like the Beatles version. To me, the mood of the vocals just didn't match the mood of the guitar. I have always thought that George Harrison's guitar begged for John Lennon to sing the song with more melancholy. To me, it was obvious that George and John were not in the studio at the same time. Such promise for a lyrically beautiful song that just wasn't realized.

Since then, "Across the Universe" has been covered many times in many different styles. There are over 150 different versions that you can buy on amazon.com (however the original isn't one of them). There are versions by David Bowie, Jackson Browne, the cover from the crappy movie of same name (another post for another day), and a beautiful solo piano version by André Mehmari.

One of the more notable covers in the last 15 years was released in 1999 for the Pleasantville soundtrack. Again the voice was a miscast. The producers of the film wanted to make a splash for the soundtrack, and they brought in Fiona Apple. She was off the heels of her phenomenal debut CD Tidal, and was preparing her second album. Fiona's jazzy low vocals didn't match the instrumentation. A nice try, but I still couldn't hear that song and feel the way I had always thought I should.

Then by chance, a second generation recording artist nailed the song three years later. Rufus Wainwright's bonus track from the CD Poses possesses everything that I was looking for in the song. His voice blends perfectly with the guitar, and feeds the need to close your eyes and just enjoy the song. For the first time, the mix was right, and Rufus's version had become the gold standard.

There have been two versions released this year. I have yet to hear the Cyndi Lauper version, but I did hear the unfortunate cover by Minnesota native Nicholas "The Feelin" Mrozinski. We'll just add it to a list of others who tried to match what Rufus did.

The Two Penny is Back

Ian Shane: The Blog retakes its original name. The Two Penny Opera was the title of the blog on ianshane.com from 2000-2002.

Seriously, What Do The Colts Have To Do?

Also posted on the Indy Star blog Tales of a Hoosier Ex-Pat


Firstly, I'd like to admit that I was wrong. As a long time Colt fan, I started to think that the window had closed on my beloved boys in blue. After, yet again, another devastating playoff loss at San Diego, I started to question if the Colts' era was over. Tony Dungy announced his retirement, and the team waived Marvin Harrison. The team elected to ascend Jim Caldwell as the head coach of the Colts. It sounded like good news to me at first. He had been under Dungy's tutelage for several years and had been long considered the heir apparent.

Then I looked at his résumé. His only head coaching experience was at Wake Forest.

WAKE FOREST!

It would be different if he had rebuilt the program to be a national power and the terror of the ACC. However, he finished 26-63 in eight seasons at Wake, and led the Demon Deacons to only one winning season (7-5 in 1999) and placed no higher than 5^th in the ACC. I started to get that queasy feeling that Dolphin fans who knew Big Ten football got when the Fins hired Cam Cameron.

In week one, the Colts lost Anthony Gonzales to a knee injury, Bob Sanders executed his contractually obligated right to have his annual injury, and Indy only beat the Jags 14-12 at home. Only three words crossed my mind that day.

Eight and eight (ok, technically it's only two words).

I realized that the Colts had lost two of their best receivers from the previous year, and the "heart and soul" of the defense was gone. Who was going to step up in the Wide Receiving corps? Rookie Austin Collie or some guy named Pierre Garçon? Pierre Garçon? You mean the guy who was a sixth round draft pick from a D-III school? Yeah, like that was going to happen.

It all seemed lost the next week in Miami. The Colts couldn't stop the Wildcat, and Peyton spent most of his time on the sideline with Tiger Woods. Miami dominated the game, but the score was close near the end of the game. Manning had one last chance to bring the Colts back. On the first play of the drive he threw a short pass to Garçon, his only reception of the game. He ran the ball 43 yards for a touchdown. In that moment, he became my favorite receiver.

Miami showed everyone the apparent blueprint to beat the Colts, and still couldn't put them away. The Colts had the ball for less than 15 minutes, and it was still enough to defeat the defending AFC East Champions on the road.

It occurred to me that the Colts may not be in as much trouble as I thought. Through injury after injury (Marlin Jackson and Sanders both out for the season, and Kelvin Hayden and Gonzales out for extended periods, along with Dwight Freeney and Joseph Addai missing key games), the Colts have beaten every team they have faced. Sure, they haven't looked like world beaters, but they have gutted their way through some tough spots. Out of 11 wins, six of them came after the Colts trailed in the 4^th quarter, including the satisfying win over the Pats. They know how to win. They can do it under any circumstance.

Yet every week, they are put on "upset alert". What do they have to do to earn the respect of the "experts"? Win a Super Bowl? Come back from a 31-14 deficit in the 4^th quarter against the hated Patriots? The Colts are 11-0, and still each week somebody says the Colts are going down. Nobody pulled this sort of crap when the Pats made their run two years ago; even after they were fortunate to escape Indy with a win (as many say about the Colts' week 10 victory).

True, the Colts haven't been overwhelming in their wins. In the last three games, Peyton has thrown 6 interceptions, yet they still win. So imagine what will happen when he starts playing more like the MVP candidate that he is. The Colts have been going with rookies and deep bench players on the other side of the ball, and they are still undefeated. Now imagine what that D is going to be like with both Freeney and Hayden back.

This week, the Colts will host the Tennessee Titans. True, Tennessee's offense is much different that it was in their October 11^th matchup. They carved up three teams that are better in run defense than the Colts by running a similar Wildcat offense that torched the Colts for 109 yards in Miami. However, the Colts will be facing the same defense it saw in week 5 which Manning went 36/44 for 309 yards and three TDs…and that was before Garçon found his grove. And the game is in Indy. I know that the Titans need a win more than the Colts, but that's true for every team that plays Indy.

My call, Indy 35-21 winners.

But, I have been wrong before.

Tiger Woods Owes Me Nothing

Dear Tiger Woods,

Look, I know that you've taken a bunker mentality, and probably won't surface until Augusta. You have been the butt of jokes with late night hosts (except for Letterman…he maybe your sanctuary), which I have to say have been a little dull. It's not like you're a politician that ran on family values, or somebody that has done anything other than be good at hitting a little white ball into a small hole. But I would like to talk to you for just a moment, and then you can go back to your self imposed media exile.

I think that it's nice and all that you have felt the need to send an apology to everyone after your little "incident", but it's totally unnecessary. You don't owe me an apology. In fact, you don't owe me a damn thing. You did nothing to me. You got caught cheating on your wife, and your family will never be the same. Apologize to them, and don't worry about me. You and I aren't friends, and probably never will be. You've never invited me inside your house for dinner and/or a drink. So why would I have to ushered inside the inner workings of the Woods Family now. I know that your 350ish word apology probably wasn't your idea. I'm sure it was composed by a publicist that was more worried about your public image than repairing your marriage.

You've only been a golfer to me, and nothing more. When I got married in September, I can tell you that I never thought, "Hey, what would Tiger Woods do." In fact, the only time when I thought that, it was when I was playing mini-golf (which by the way, cost me the match). I only look to you as the only compelling thing in professional golf. In fact, in my mind, when you aren't playing in a tour event, you don't exist. Your "transgression" doesn't affect my life, my marriage, or my desire to buy Nike shoes or Gatorade.

So take my advice. Make up with your wife, or divorce her…it is America after all. Just do it in the privacy in your own home. I know that others think that they are entitled to know what you're doing, but they aren't. If they care that much about this, they can call you and invite you out for tea and ask. When I'm in line at the grocery store and I see you on the cover of a magazine, it had better be Sports Illustrated, and not on Us Weekly…that's strictly reserved for Brad, Jen and Angelina.

Good luck, and don't watch ESPN for at least a month (except for Stanford's Bowl Game…Go Cardinal!). In fact, don't watch TV or listen to radio. You play golf for a living. How many "Putts" and "It's in the hole" jokes can you really hear?

Sincerely,

 
 

Ian Shane
Minneapolis

Season 2 of Pawn Stars Starts Tonight

About a month ago, D had possession of the remote and landed on the History Channel. We saw this big bald guy dressed in all black buying a 1982 Harley Davidson off of a guy who looked like he didn't get the memo that ZZ Top had broken up. This show is called "Pawn Stars", and it has quickly become my favorite reality television show (except when the Colts are on, of course).

So here's the main point of the story. Rick Harrison runs the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop, north of the strip in Las Vegas (the official Ian Shane preferred vacation spot). It's actually owned by his father "The Old Man", and he is grooming his son, "Big Hoss", to one day take over the family business. Corey's best friend, Chumlee, is the Pawn Shop's "village idiot" who is pure unintentional comic relief.

Now most people think of pawn shops as the one seen on Trading Places, seedy and run by Bo Diddley who says things like "In South Philly, it's worth 50 bucks." The show is not quite like that. It's more like "The Antiques Road Show", but people actually sell stuff. Some of the items are very rare and extremely cool. From Leon Spinks' IBF Heavyweight Title Belt to a 1950's Coke bottle dispenser, it's obvious that the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop is a haven for serious collectors. What separates this show with other reality shows is that each minute is a teachable moment. Rick usually knows the value and history of each item, but sometimes he calls in experts to tell more about the merchandise.

Plus if you're into the drama of a reality show, there is plenty of that. The Old Man has a hard time adapting to the changing times. He doesn't understand why everyone is dressed in jeans, and he refuses to admit that he is getting old (like the time he miss identifies a Carson City minted coin, because he couldn't see the "CC" on the bottom of the coin. It's the difference of $50 and $500). Rick struggles to keep things going while in the down economy. It's not that people aren't bringing things in, it's that the collecting market is down. And Big Hoss struggles to earn the trust and respect of his father (buying a boat for $16,000 without consulting his father).

I highly recommend this show. Season 2 starts tonight on the History Channel.

Glitter and Doom – Tom Waits

It was May 2001 when I became a huge Tom Waits fan. My friend Todd let me borrow Beautiful Maladies and told me to listen to a song called "Clap Hands". Within 3 minutes, I was hooked for life. I then started on a holy quest to acquire most of his albums. About a year later, there were two new Waits releases, Alice and Blood Money. I really liked them both (but had a preference to Blood Money), and couldn't wait to get more. A few years later, I laid hands on his latest release, Real Gone, to which I was a fan of immediately. I was getting spoiled. There had been 3 new CDs in 2 years. I thought that this was a prolific trend that I could get behind.

However, I had to wait until 2006 before another release came out. Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers, and Bastards was not a new studio release. It featured outtakes and songs that I had already had copies of (like "Book of Moses" from the Skip Spence tribute album, and his interesting interpretation of "Heigh Ho"). Not that the release was a waste of time and/or money. I was thrilled with his cover of The Ramones "Danny Says" (which will be in a future post) and "Sea of Love". But I wanted something new, from Alpha to Omega.

Earlier this month, I was happy to learn that there would be a new Waits CD coming out today. Although this is not a studio album, I'm happy to add to my mounting collection of Waits MP3s. Glitter and Doom is a compilation of songs recorded from his 2008 world tour, one that did not include a stop in Minneapolis (Not feeling the love Tom). To make up for his limited tour, Tom had offered a free sample of the CD, featuring the first eight tracks from the new CD. While any purchase is going to put on hold for a few weeks, I have been going through the gratis sample to great delight. I am quite taken with the live version of "Singapore", a favorite of mine from Rain Dogs. He leads off the CD with "Lucinda", an Orphans original, which serves well as an opening song for any show. So far, my favorite is "Get Behind the Mule", originally from Mule Variations.

A word of warning. This is advanced Waits that requires some prerequisites. If you are not familiar with his work, this is not what you want to use to get started. Anytime I want to start someone on Waits, I recommend Heart Attack and Vine, which is a good Waits starter's kit. It's a merger of his earlier "Piano Bar" era, and you start to hear the ground work for his later shift that becomes more apparent in Swordfish Trombone. Depending on which sound of his you like better, you have the option of either working backwards or forwards. Plus, the title track of the album has one of my favorite lines "There ain't no devil, it's just God when he's drunk".

My Latest Musical Crack - I And Love And You by the Avett Brothers

It's been a month since I first heard this song, and I can't get enough of it.

I first heard "I And Love And You" when I was driving D home from a very long day. I had a wedding to go to, D had a school dance to set up. We then met up for the "Ghost, Graves and Caves" tour of St. Paul with our friend Anna. The three of us had some Indian food, and then D and I went to close out the school dance and strike the set (for lack of a better phrase…it's my old high school drama lingo coming back).

It had been a nice day and the windows were down (rare for Minnesota in October) on the drive home. We were both exhausted, and I turned on 89.3. I heard this haunting piano melody backing a beautiful harmonized story about a guy who is leaving town and leaving his girlfriend a note. He has the hardest time telling her "I love you."

As soon as I got home, I went to the computer and bought the song on Amazon. Every time I hear it, I can't but help think about the ending of my book, and if it ever became a movie, it'd be a perfect song to close out the story (And that's all I'm going to say about the tie in. If you want to know what I'm writing about buy the book).

The song is a shoe-in nomination for Anthology X1, which should be compiled in the first week of January. I should have the track listing posted as soon as it is done.

Can Someone Please Do His Homework? Please!

I know…many of you will tell me to just shut up and enjoy the show, but I just can't.

Over the weekend, D and I saw Pirate Radio. I enjoyed the show, but I was a little distracted by timeline discrepancies. The movie takes place in 1966 and ends on New Year's Day 1967. This is kind of the important bit.

As it is a story about a radio station, the music plays a very key role in the story. Some of the musical selections seemed a little odd with me. So with some good old fashioned research, I looked up most of the songs that were on the soundtrack of the movie (and prominently displayed). It took me about a half hour to look up these songs to check when they were released. This is what I found.

"All Day and All of the Night" - The Kinks - 1964
"Elenore" - The Turtles - 1968
"Judy in Disguise (With Glasses)" - John Fred and His Playboy Band – January 1969
"Dancing in the Street" - Martha Reeves and the Vandellas - 1964
"Wouldn't It Be Nice" - The Beach Boys - 1966
"Ooo Baby Baby" - Smokey Robinson - 1965
"This Guy's in Love with You" - Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass - 1969
"Crimson and Clover" - Tommy James & The Shondells – November 1968
"Hi Ho Silver Lining" - Jeff Beck – March 1967
"I Can See for Miles" - The Who – October 1967
"With a Girl Like You" - The Troggs - 1966
"The Letter" - The Box Tops – August 1967
"I'm Alive" - The Hollies – May 1965
"Yesterday Man" - Chris Andrews - 1965
"Silence Is Golden" - The Tremeloes - 1964
"The End of the World" - Skeeter Davis - 1962
"Friday on My Mind" - The Easybeats – November 1966
"My Generation" - The Who – October 1965
"I Feel Free" - Cream – December 1966
"The Wind Cries Mary" - Jimi Hendrix – May 1967
"A Whiter Shade of Pale" - Procol Harum – June 1967
"These Arms of Mine" - Otis Redding - 1962
"The Happening" - The Supremes – March 1967
"Sunny Afternoon" - The Kinks – June 1966
"Father and Son" - Cat Stevens – November 1970
"Nights in White Satin" - The Moody Blues – November 1967
"You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" - Dusty Springfield – March 1966
"Stay with Me, Baby" - Lorraine Ellison – October 1966
"Hang On Sloopy" - The McCoys - 1965
"This Old Heart of Mine (Is Weak for You)" - The Isley Brothers – January 1966
"So Long, Marianne" – Leonard Cohen – December 1967

A whopping 42% of the songs that I found would not have been available to any radio station on the very last day of the movie. To bring it home another way, it was a higher percentage of songs than people who voted for Walter Mondale in 1984 (40.6%...something else that I found from this research). As we all know, 42 is the answer to everything concerning life, the universe and everything, but this is pretty ridiculous. Yes, this is nitpicky, but the music IS the backbone of the story. Don't you think that the producers could have taken the time to figure this out before they released the movie? Remember, it only took me a half hour, and I'm not one of them smart Hollywood types. I'm just a smart ass from Indiana.

Only one movie a year can screw up the whole time space continuum concept a year, and unfortunately for Pirate Radio, Star Trek already did it in May.

Hail to the Victors

Before the Michigan/Indiana game, there was a lot of buzz around Indiana that this would be the weekend that they would snap their 42 year winless streak at Ann Arbor. Why not, even though it was a road game against a ranked Big Ten (11) opponent, Michigan hasn't really been the world beaters that we expect them to be. A win at the Big House didn't seem to be that impossible. Minnesota did it. Hell, Appalachian State has done it. No biggie. Why not IU?

At the end of the Michigan's 36-33 win over the Indiana Hoosiers Saturday, I feel that there are a lot of things that I have learned about the Indiana Hoosiers.

1. Indiana is better than I thought. They gave Michigan everything that they wanted, and gave a nationally televised audience a great game.
   
2. Kellen Lewis would not have done well in the "Pistol" offense. But I would have paid a lot of money to watch him run the triple option against this Michigan defense.
   
3. Indiana at its almost best can't beat Michigan at their almost worst.
   

Now, that last one may not seem fair. IU dominated Michigan in the second half. They kept Michigan in check for the first three series of the last 24, and made the Wolverines look a bit like a MAC team. Michigan's two true freshmen quarterbacks looked like freshman quarterbacks, and the second string playing showed why they aren't first string. It started to look like Indiana might have pulled it off.

But Michigan showed that great teams with a good effort will usually beat a good team with a great effort. Michigan pulled together a game winning drive and (allegedly) picked off Ben Chappell's first attempt in Indiana's "two minute drill".

But don't kid yourself; the controversial interception didn't do in the Hoosiers. Indiana failed to convert four red zone trips into touchdowns and didn't take advantage of Michigan's obvious weakness in the middle of the offensive line. The Hoosiers gave it their best, but it just wasn't good enough.

Now Indiana has to take on the Ohio State University at home. Maybe the Hoosiers can make a game of this one too, but it's going to take a better effort than they showed today. They have to be perfect.

Night Swimming

Originally posted on the Indianapolis Star Blog "Tales of a Hoosier Ex-Pat"

When you're a kid, there are certain benchmarks that define the year. For me, the summer always had an ebb and flow with some major annual events.

Memorial Day Weekend – Indy 500 and the unofficial start of summer
Last Week of June – Thunder on the Ohio
Fourth of July – Midpoint of summer
Last week of July/First Week of August – Family Vacation
August 17 – My Birthday
Labor Day Weekend – Frog Follies and the unofficial end of summer

As I have gotten older and moved away from Indiana, Thunder and the Follies have become more of a nostalgic concept rather than a seasonal marking of time, and I haven't had a full family vacation since 1987. However, I still view my birthday as the white flag for summertime. This summer was a lot like watching Casino, I sat around and waited for it to start and then it was over. Don't get me wrong. In my old age, and living in an apartment that lacks air conditioning, I'm not overjoyed by sweltering days with 1000% humidity. I'm not really ready to let go of this summer. Not just yet. I really like the fall, but I can put it on hold for a little bit. It's not like my 35^th year was not all roses. D and I had to push back the wedding again, and I became victim 3, 593, 293 of the economy. I really need a fresh start to a new year.

Since I first got Automatic for the People, I have always equated the song "Night Swimming" to my birthday. It's a sentimental song about the end of an era. The song, and the day never used to hit me that hard until about 4 years ago.

There are many things that I am going to miss. I'm going to miss riding my bike in decent weather. I'm going to miss the smell of sun screen. I'm going to miss trying to figure out when the Cubs are going to blow it again. I'm going to miss not hearing from the blowhards in this state go on and on about the stinkin' Vikings. The unbelievable feeling of drinking a cold glass of water will be lost soon, and I'm going to deal with space heaters and frozen cars.

Now, my major events run like this.

October 15 – The average date of the first day of snow
May 3^rd – The latest day of snow in my 7 years in Minnesota
June 1^st – The first of a maximum of 115 days where doing something outside doesn't suck

As REM said in that song "September's coming soon." Happy Birthday to me.

Vegas III, In Review

Usually, I would get excited about going to Las Vegas. I pepper my blog with Pre-Vegas themed entries (such as Top 5 Vegas Movies, and Vegas Tips). That is if I know if I am going in advance. I found out about the latest and third trip to the real city that never sleeps about an hour and a half before takeoff. I had plans with my fiancée to celebrate her birthday (Thursday), wander around the Uptown Art Fair (Friday), and see one of my favorite bands, Flogging Molly, at the Irish Fair (Saturday). But first, we were going to pick up a friend of hers from high school at the airport on Wednesday night.

When we get there, I spotted my best man and one of my poker buddies. Confused, I asked the natural question.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"You're going to Vegas."

"I'm not going to no Vegas. I'm not packed."

"Yeah, you are," D said as she popped the trunk and pulled out my suitcase, and my computer bag (which I still want to know how she did that without me knowing). "It's your bachelor party."

It slowly started to dawn on me that D's plans for a weekend were not only a cover, but prevented me from making other plans. There was no friend of hers at the airport; it was just to get me to drive out there with her. So three friends of mine (and one we'd meet with out there) flew away to the Ian Shane preferred vacation spot. Lots of things were going on for the trip, so I'll just give you the Reader's Digest condensed version of the trip.

-Had a great room at the Luxor, however I found it amusing that they were trying to brand themselves as the "green" casino by installing energy efficient lights and a requesting that we re-use towels to save water. Keep in mind that this is the casino that has 7 high powered lights that shoot a beam into the air for no real reason.

-Playing poker in Vegas is not as scary as you would think. The prevailing logic is that the best of the best go there to play. It's poker Top Gun, and if you are a middle of the pack kind of player (which I am), then you'll lose quickly and you won't have any fun. The truth is that you're not going to find Dan Harrington playing a $52 dollar buy in tournament at the Lux, or a 1-2 no limit game. The fact is poker rooms are usually populated with drunken rubes and first timers. These are the people who watched maybe one or two WSOP tape delays and thought "This is easy. Anybody can do this." The way they play makes you believe that they would be more than willing to give you their money directly, but since poker room rules prohibit such acts of charity, they'll limp into a pot with a pocket Jack/4. If you play a patient game (which I admit, I didn't the last night there…fatigue was starting to set in.) you can walk away with a bit of money. I was up 100 bucks in 45 minutes in 1-2 no limit the first time I played.

-I don't care what the "How to Play Blackjack" books say about odds, when a dealer shows a six, nine times out of ten, the under card is a five, and the dealer will pull a face on the draw. Conversely, when you have an 11 and you double down, you'll draw a two 90% of the time.

-Never, never, NEVER play roulette. It's a game specifically designed to draw in newbies and rubes who think that they can beat the odds.

-Girls who wear the "Las Vegas Hottie" T-shirts aren't fooling anyone.

-Las Vegas is Spanish for "The Buffet". Which if you are looking for a great place to have a reception dinner after your Vegas wedding, it's not a bad place to be. You're paying 26 bucks a person, and you let the guests decide what they want. You don't have to painstakingly go through menu options. As long as your jerky guests don't do the annoying clinking of the glass to get the bride and groom to kiss, then you're welcome anytime.

-Pound for pound, I still say that Fremont is the place to be. I love the old school Vegas. We played poker at the Fitz, and it was the highlight of the gaming portion of the trip (although it may be the highlight because I finished better than everyone else in the party, and sixth out of 33 entrants).

-Trip highlight was the Diana Krall show at the Palms. The show was great, and her version of "Jockey Full of Bourbon" was lights out. If there's a Tom Waits song being performed by someone other than Waits, then it damn well better be Diana.

By the time we got on the plane, I was ready to leave that wretched place, and looking forward to the next time I go.

Oh Well…

Originally posted on my Indianapolis Star blog "Tales of a Hoosier Ex-Pat"

Several years ago, my friend Jeff told me that he had a great idea for a screenplay. It was a spoof of a zombie movie.

"It's time for one," he said.

Then he went to see a movie called Shaun of the Dead, and he saw his movie play out in front of him. Jeff sat there in horror as he saw three or four things that he had already written in his unfinished screenplay (all of which prompted great laughter by the audience.)

He told me that it was the worst feeling he ever had as a writer, and he hoped that it would never happen to me.

Let's fast forward to 2007. I had started to put together my first feature length screenplay. It was the result of nine years of research. I had downloaded FBI files, and read biographies. I was 30 pages into a screenplay titled Public Enemy. It started in Tucson, Arizona January 30, 1934 as John Dillinger was set to be extradited to Indiana to face charges that he killed a police officer during a bank robbery in East Chicago.

I was feeling pretty good about the story and what I had written, until D and I went back to Indiana for the holidays. As we were on the way back to Minnesota, I heard a report on Wisconsin Public Radio about how Badger State favorite son, Michael Mann, was going to be in the state shooting a film. I like Michael Mann, so the story caught my attention.

"The untitled film stars Johnny Depp and focuses on the life of John Dillinger."

What did that reporter say?

It was just another excuse to hate Wisconsin.

I immediately put the project on the back burner. My friends who were aware of the project urged me to reconsider, and to continue to work on it.

"It could be totally different than what you're writing," DeAnna said. "He could screw it up. Michael Mann isn't infallible. Look at Heat."

I held on to that hope, but still had the project in suspended animation. I would take a wait and see approach.

Then I saw the trailer, and I wept.

Like Jeff, I sat in horror as I saw one scene exactly as I had envisioned, and one as I had written. I knew what he was feeling in that California movie theater five years ago.

I haven't seen Public Enemies yet. But I will sometime, and I'm going to be keeping notes. I know the history, and I will be the movie's toughest critic. I already have some problems with it. Christian "Good For You" Bale is not who I would cast as Melvin Purvis. And for as much as I love Marion Cotillard (she would be in a laminated list), who is certainly beautiful enough to play Billie Frechette, I still can't figure out what her accent is all about. Research, Michael!

Until then, Public Enemy is a dead project. It may be resurrected in 10 or 15 years, but I don't hold out much hope for it.

Chevelure (am I right?)

So, it's been almost two years since I have put together an actual mix CD. Since then, I have added to the Anthology Collection (which doesn't count as a mix CD), a couple of iTunes playlists, and a Facebook playlist. Still, nothing compares to sitting down and making the list, listening to it, make a rough draft disc, and figuring out what works and what doesn't. There were some songs that didn't make the cut to this on (Ray Charles's version of Eleanor Rigby, for one).

There is a bit of a pattern here, as there has been in some of my more recent mixes. There is a Tori Amos cover, an Elvis Costello song (also a cover), and Tom Waits. Sounds oh so much like every mix I've put together since 2002. However, since D likes all three, they are in (she is the one I'm making this for—and that she likes all three is more proof that I am marrying the right woman). There are eight covers on this CD (unintentional at first, but then it became a game of how many I could fit in), vocals by an Evansville native, and a couple of songs that I have rediscovered because of the huge CD backup project (which is still in progress).

Track List

House of the Rising Sun – Nina Simone
Sweet Home Chicago – Robert Johnson
I Put a Spell on You – Screaming Jay Hawkins
Baby, Please Don't Go – Them
Lady Godiva's Operation – The Velvet Underground
Angel – Jimi Hendrix
Behind Blue Eyes – Sheryl Crow
Oh Darling – Bela Fleck and the Flecktones (with John Cowan)
Let's Get it On – Jack Black
You Are The Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne
Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop – Landon Pigg
Place To Be – Nick Drake
The Drugs Don't Work – Ben Harper
For You – Format
War Torn – Nicole Atkins
Thoroughfare – Rebecca Martin
All Through the Night – Tori Amos
Mama Told Me Not To Come – Randy Newman
Innocent When You Dream – Elvis Costello
Straight to the Top (Vegas) – Tom Waits

Chevelure (am I right?) Playlist created 7 June, 2009 for his beautiful fiancée. An Ian Shane Joint.

Vegas--Part Deux

Originally posted on ianshane.com 26 April, 2006

Sure, I was in Vegas for the NAB convention, but I spent some quality time away from the Hilton to renew my passion for Vegas. When I went last June, I was but a Vegas novice. Now, I am the master, and I shall pass along the Sin City Survival guide in the TOP 5 THINGS I LEARNED IN VEGAS.

1. If she's wearing black, high heels, and she's always checking her cell phone...
She's a hooker. Plain and simple. I know that we want to believe that she's a hot girl who is genuinely interested in what we have to say, but she's a pro. Sorry. They're crafty too. The really good ones will really chat you up until you're so into her, that you would really consider springing the five bills just to get her in the room. I'd consider letting my Advertising Sales class follow the really good ones around to learn how to pitch a client.

2 Even if you can't afford to stay there, the Venetian is the place to be.
This place is beautiful, and it's fairly easy to win. To this date, the Venetian is the ONLY casino that lost money to me. I don't know how that place stays in business with high rollers like me walking in and winning a grand total of $39.85. They hate me.

3. No matter how good the shoes, your feet will hurt at the end of the day.
I had comfortable shoe with new shock absorbers in the insoles, and I still felt like I walked to Hoboken in six inch heels with a rock in the bottom (not that I do that). Granted, I did a lot of standing and walking, but come on! Dr. Scholls is supposed to handle the job.

4. Penny slots are the dope places to play.
Low return, granted, but the odds are much better. The way to play is to bet as many lines as possible. Don't believe me, ask the kids at the Venetian (see item 2). You can play for hours on $10 and the waitresses will still bring you a scotch.

And, most importantly...

5. Don't drink with Richard.
Email me--I'll tell you the story.

Hart(ford)less Victory

Originally posted on ianshane.com 20 June 2006

For those who are about to say “get over it”, screw you.

The people of Hartford have every right to be pissed about the Carolina Hurricanes winning the Stanley Cup—especially after NBC showed Peter Karmanos celebrating in the owner's box. It's been nine years since the Whalers left the Nutmeg State and headed to North Carolina.

North Carolina. Good hockey country.

Let me put it to you in non-hockey terms. You've been dating this great girl for a long time. She then dumps you for a loser that's chronically unemployed, who doesn’t have a clean shirt in his wardrobe, and does nothing but sit on the couch and drink beer. Then, she wins the lottery and marries the son of a bitch.

Being a Hartford Whalers fan, I learned that the personality of the team you follow mirrors your personality. It may sound a little silly, but it's true. And for the younger brother of guy whose shadow was difficult to get out of, I could relate to a team that played just a few miles away from Boston and New York. The Whale were hidden behind the glamorous Rangers, Islanders, and Bruins. Throughout high school and college, I felt The Whalers' pain of not being good enough.

When Karmanos announced the team was moving, I felt betrayed, even though I didn't live in Hartford. I’ve never even been there. It was worse for me. My brother in arms were being altered. My team was the group of misfits that played in an undersized arena, always overlooked, and struggling to get by (how I felt working radio in Bloomington, Indiana, sending out airchecks and résumés almost daily, and eating mustard sandwiches). All of a sudden, the Whale were moving to North Carolina and becoming something else.

But, we’ve already covered this.

As soon as they got there, they instantly changed. They were no longer the kid living among giants, but they were the lost boys in a place they had no business being and weren't even welcomed.

They played in front of 9,000 fans per game their first season in Carolina, and I was convinced that they would come crawling back home within three years.

Served them right.

Eventually they made the playoffs, and the people of Raleigh started to warm up to the ‘Canes. The team made the Stanley Cup finals, and they got hammered by the Red Wings in five games. The menace of the Hurricanes seemed to subside as they missed the playoffs the next year and the lockout cancelled the season after that.

But the Hurricanes made the Finals for the second time in four playoff seasons. They came back and bested the Edmonton Oilers in a thrilling Game 7. I felt the twinge of “should have” as the final goal clinched the game for Carolina. I quietly turned off the streaming radio feed and shut off my computer.

Hartford is trying to get another team, and they just might get one. The Pittsburgh Penguins are for sale, and they will more than likely relocate. A Hartford business man is going to make a bid, and press the state to build a new stadium.

But for me, it won't be the same. Even if the Pens move to Hartford, and Karmanos does the honorable thing (which would be a first) and gives the name back to the city, they won't be my Whalers. They'd just be the Penguins in blue, silver, and green. I may root for them in the East, for sentiment sake, but I can't become a fan.

It's just not who I am anymore.

Vegas, Baby! Vegas!

Originally posted on ianshane.com 10 June, 2005

In honor of this year's Vegas trip, I figured that finding the Top 5 Vegas movies was a worthy and noble quest. There are many fine movies about Las Vegas (like Oceans 11) and there are some God-awful flicks about Nevada 's number 1 vacation destination (Showgirls). Refining this list wasn't an easy task, but one I took with great enthusiasm.

1. The Godfather/The Godfather Part II
I have to group these together. Although it would be naïve to think that the mob was not in Vegas until the early 1960s, the story details how the Corleone Family took control of the Tropicana from the unlucky Moe Green (unlucky as the casino lost money under his management…oh yeah, and getting shot in the eye was unlucky too). Las Vegas isn't mentioned much in Part II, but the base of operation for Michael is still Sin City. I learned a valuable lesson from these two movies…never go fishing with a ruthless killer friend of your brother.

2. Swingers
Mike and Trent are in Vegas for only 10 minutes of the movie, but it still ranks #2 on the Top 5 list. From Swingers, we learn to always double down on 11 even if you're betting with “blood money”, Vegas waitresses are easy if you're money and you don't quote Voltaire, and to always wear a suit if you want free stuff in Vegas. I'll even forgive that Trent valet parks at the Stardust (on the Strip), and end up playing blackjack at the Fremont (downtown), and the shots of Strip are out of order if they are driving from the south (as they would be coming from LA).

3. Diamonds Are Forever
Vegas and Bond both featured in one flick? I'm in! The last real Bond movie with Sean Connery (Never Say Never Again doesn't count) takes 007 to Vegas to stop the flow of smuggled stolen diamonds from South Africa . Bond not only battles the first openly gay super villain couple, he also has to endure the worst Bond girl, ever (Jill St. John as Tiffany Case? What the hell was Guy Hamilton thinking?). Bond protects a guy who was more of a Howard Hughes than Leonardo DiCaprio in the Aviator (which isn't saying much), while Q wins big at the Circus Circus casino thanks to a smart looking device he created.

4. Very Bad Things
How many times have you gone to a bachelor party, only to have one of the group accidentally kill a hooker in the throws of some cocaine enhanced bathroom sex? This foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little bachelor parties everywhere. Even though it didn't do well in box office and in video sales, and the critics hated it, Very Bad Things deserves to be on this list. Jon Favreau (which if you're keeping score at home, is the only actor to be on this list twice) delivers a flawless performance in a dark comedy with shades of an Alfred Hitchcock story.

5. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Sure, logic would dictate that Las Vegas is not the city you want to be in if you're on psychedelic drugs, but the movie proves this theory hands down. The first time I saw it, I hated it. However, since I've read the Hunter S. Thompson classic, I understand where director Terry Gilliam was coming from with the unusual animations. Fear and Loathing is a great insight on what being on drugs must be like.

Also receiving votes: Oceans 11 (the original), Rain Man, Bugsy, Honeymoon in Vegas, Leaving Las Vegas (even if Nick Cage is in the last two, they were still pretty good.)

Repost--Two Bottle Movies: Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

So, I’ve redesigned the web site, and I have found some of these old essays that are sitting on my server. There are no links to them; forgotten and hidden away like Jimmy Hoffa. I don’t plan to have an archive page, as the site is going to be more Radio Radio centric. As the next few weeks pass, I will repost some of these gems, and I will start writing new material as well. Enjoy.

Two Bottle Movies: Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Originally posted on ianshane.com 6 June, 2006

A little bit more than a year ago, my friend Andie purposely rented this movie called Liquid Sky. She told me that it was quite possible the best bad movie of all time. And yes, she was right, it was a really bad movie. The thing that made it entertaining was the two bottles of wine we split.

Thus, a tradition was born.

Here we go with today's movie...

Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1979)
Peter Frampton, The Bee Gees, George Burns, a bunch of other people that makes this movie sooooo 70's.

“Plot”
Sergeant Pepper's grandson (Frampton) takes over as the musical leader of “Heartland”. When the he and his band (The Bee Gees) sign a recording contract and leave town, Mean Mr. Mustard steals the valuable instruments from the Sgt. Pepper's Museum, and somehow manages to turn Heartland into Porn City. The band must return the instruments and kick Mustard out of town by calling on Earth, Wind and Fire.

What Makes This a Bad Movie?
You know, if I were John Lennon, I too would pray for someone to shoot me after this movie was made. Lennon and McCartney signing the musical rights for this movie was the biggest Beatles blunder since they let Ringo sing.

Let me give you an idea of how bad this movie is. They made George Burns sing--and that wasn't the low point. But here are some things to look for when you are watching this movie.

- Sandy Farina's version of “Who Loves the Sun” was the worst hatchet job on George Harrison, and this guy was actually attacked by a guy armed with a hatchet.
- Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees…there's four of them, and they're in different colors. Wasn't that prophesied somewhere to be the end of the world?
- Steve Martin and Peter Frampton's duel.
- Alice Cooper's Ron Jeremy style moustache.
- Aerosmith singing a Beatles song (OK, that's funny).

Any Saving Graces?
Billy Preston's version of “Get Back”. The song only…how it fit in the story was actually kinda stupid.

The Wine:
Jake's Fault Shiraz (2003) A very decent Shiraz . It has a nice rich taste, but has a tendency to be a little too bitter.
The Little Penguin Cabernet (2001) Very tasty indeed. It has a smooth taste and is not obtrusive at all. A very good find, and inexpensive, too.