Non Christmas-Christmas Music Volume 2 – Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis

It's a little bit of holiday cheer…well, sort of. Tom Wait's signature holiday song really has little to do with Christmas (as the title of this post would indicate).

As Waits is known for his unique prose that are often quite poetic, and yet would make Thoreau blush and maybe even pray, this song is quite simplistic. The plot of the story of the song is the title, "Christmas Card From a Hooker In Minneapolis". This is the inside message of a Christmas card sent to a man named Charlie from an unidentified woman. It's unclear what the relationship between the woman and Charlie is, but you kinda get the sense that Charlie is the poor shlum who has undying feelings for this woman (she is quite aware of it) and has a history of bailing her out of trouble, no matter how much she has screwed up.

The Amsterdam Hotel, on the corner of 9th and Hennepin, could have been a home to a hooker that sent out a Christmas Card.

The only reference to Christmas in the piece is in the title. The song would have a totally different meaning if were titled "Letter From a Hooker In Minneapolis". In fact, some who live in the City of Lakes claim that the song has very little to do with Minneapolis. In the song, the woman states that she lives above a dirty book store on 9^th and Euclid. There is no 9^th and Euclid in Minneapolis. However, there is a 9^th and Hennepin (which is a title to a song Tom would record 7 years later). In the late 70s (when this song was written), 9^th and Hennepin was a seedy part of downtown. If there was a dirty book store, that would be a good location to have one. Since then, that stretch of Hennepin has become the city's theater district.

As the story opens, the woman tells Charlie that she has a man who is a musician. She's with child, and they are about to start a family. The musician is unphased by the fact that he is not the father. She lets on that things are going well for her (except that someone stole her record player). As the song closes, she has her moment of honesty. She says that there is no guy that is taking care of her, and she's in jail. She hints to Charlie that she needs a large sum of money to pay off her lawyer. She butters him up by telling Charlie that there's a possibility that she will be out of the pokey on Valentine's Day.

Several years ago, Neko Case did a cover of this song for a Tom Waits tribute CD. It's strange to say this, but it's almost wrong to hear a female sing this song. Part of the charm of the song is Wait's gruff voice belting out "Charlie I'm Pregnant" to open the song. It's just wrong to hear it otherwise.