Seriously, What Do The Colts Have To Do?

Also posted on the Indy Star blog Tales of a Hoosier Ex-Pat


Firstly, I'd like to admit that I was wrong. As a long time Colt fan, I started to think that the window had closed on my beloved boys in blue. After, yet again, another devastating playoff loss at San Diego, I started to question if the Colts' era was over. Tony Dungy announced his retirement, and the team waived Marvin Harrison. The team elected to ascend Jim Caldwell as the head coach of the Colts. It sounded like good news to me at first. He had been under Dungy's tutelage for several years and had been long considered the heir apparent.

Then I looked at his résumé. His only head coaching experience was at Wake Forest.

WAKE FOREST!

It would be different if he had rebuilt the program to be a national power and the terror of the ACC. However, he finished 26-63 in eight seasons at Wake, and led the Demon Deacons to only one winning season (7-5 in 1999) and placed no higher than 5^th in the ACC. I started to get that queasy feeling that Dolphin fans who knew Big Ten football got when the Fins hired Cam Cameron.

In week one, the Colts lost Anthony Gonzales to a knee injury, Bob Sanders executed his contractually obligated right to have his annual injury, and Indy only beat the Jags 14-12 at home. Only three words crossed my mind that day.

Eight and eight (ok, technically it's only two words).

I realized that the Colts had lost two of their best receivers from the previous year, and the "heart and soul" of the defense was gone. Who was going to step up in the Wide Receiving corps? Rookie Austin Collie or some guy named Pierre Garçon? Pierre Garçon? You mean the guy who was a sixth round draft pick from a D-III school? Yeah, like that was going to happen.

It all seemed lost the next week in Miami. The Colts couldn't stop the Wildcat, and Peyton spent most of his time on the sideline with Tiger Woods. Miami dominated the game, but the score was close near the end of the game. Manning had one last chance to bring the Colts back. On the first play of the drive he threw a short pass to Garçon, his only reception of the game. He ran the ball 43 yards for a touchdown. In that moment, he became my favorite receiver.

Miami showed everyone the apparent blueprint to beat the Colts, and still couldn't put them away. The Colts had the ball for less than 15 minutes, and it was still enough to defeat the defending AFC East Champions on the road.

It occurred to me that the Colts may not be in as much trouble as I thought. Through injury after injury (Marlin Jackson and Sanders both out for the season, and Kelvin Hayden and Gonzales out for extended periods, along with Dwight Freeney and Joseph Addai missing key games), the Colts have beaten every team they have faced. Sure, they haven't looked like world beaters, but they have gutted their way through some tough spots. Out of 11 wins, six of them came after the Colts trailed in the 4^th quarter, including the satisfying win over the Pats. They know how to win. They can do it under any circumstance.

Yet every week, they are put on "upset alert". What do they have to do to earn the respect of the "experts"? Win a Super Bowl? Come back from a 31-14 deficit in the 4^th quarter against the hated Patriots? The Colts are 11-0, and still each week somebody says the Colts are going down. Nobody pulled this sort of crap when the Pats made their run two years ago; even after they were fortunate to escape Indy with a win (as many say about the Colts' week 10 victory).

True, the Colts haven't been overwhelming in their wins. In the last three games, Peyton has thrown 6 interceptions, yet they still win. So imagine what will happen when he starts playing more like the MVP candidate that he is. The Colts have been going with rookies and deep bench players on the other side of the ball, and they are still undefeated. Now imagine what that D is going to be like with both Freeney and Hayden back.

This week, the Colts will host the Tennessee Titans. True, Tennessee's offense is much different that it was in their October 11^th matchup. They carved up three teams that are better in run defense than the Colts by running a similar Wildcat offense that torched the Colts for 109 yards in Miami. However, the Colts will be facing the same defense it saw in week 5 which Manning went 36/44 for 309 yards and three TDs…and that was before Garçon found his grove. And the game is in Indy. I know that the Titans need a win more than the Colts, but that's true for every team that plays Indy.

My call, Indy 35-21 winners.

But, I have been wrong before.

Tiger Woods Owes Me Nothing

Dear Tiger Woods,

Look, I know that you've taken a bunker mentality, and probably won't surface until Augusta. You have been the butt of jokes with late night hosts (except for Letterman…he maybe your sanctuary), which I have to say have been a little dull. It's not like you're a politician that ran on family values, or somebody that has done anything other than be good at hitting a little white ball into a small hole. But I would like to talk to you for just a moment, and then you can go back to your self imposed media exile.

I think that it's nice and all that you have felt the need to send an apology to everyone after your little "incident", but it's totally unnecessary. You don't owe me an apology. In fact, you don't owe me a damn thing. You did nothing to me. You got caught cheating on your wife, and your family will never be the same. Apologize to them, and don't worry about me. You and I aren't friends, and probably never will be. You've never invited me inside your house for dinner and/or a drink. So why would I have to ushered inside the inner workings of the Woods Family now. I know that your 350ish word apology probably wasn't your idea. I'm sure it was composed by a publicist that was more worried about your public image than repairing your marriage.

You've only been a golfer to me, and nothing more. When I got married in September, I can tell you that I never thought, "Hey, what would Tiger Woods do." In fact, the only time when I thought that, it was when I was playing mini-golf (which by the way, cost me the match). I only look to you as the only compelling thing in professional golf. In fact, in my mind, when you aren't playing in a tour event, you don't exist. Your "transgression" doesn't affect my life, my marriage, or my desire to buy Nike shoes or Gatorade.

So take my advice. Make up with your wife, or divorce her…it is America after all. Just do it in the privacy in your own home. I know that others think that they are entitled to know what you're doing, but they aren't. If they care that much about this, they can call you and invite you out for tea and ask. When I'm in line at the grocery store and I see you on the cover of a magazine, it had better be Sports Illustrated, and not on Us Weekly…that's strictly reserved for Brad, Jen and Angelina.

Good luck, and don't watch ESPN for at least a month (except for Stanford's Bowl Game…Go Cardinal!). In fact, don't watch TV or listen to radio. You play golf for a living. How many "Putts" and "It's in the hole" jokes can you really hear?

Sincerely,

 
 

Ian Shane
Minneapolis

Season 2 of Pawn Stars Starts Tonight

About a month ago, D had possession of the remote and landed on the History Channel. We saw this big bald guy dressed in all black buying a 1982 Harley Davidson off of a guy who looked like he didn't get the memo that ZZ Top had broken up. This show is called "Pawn Stars", and it has quickly become my favorite reality television show (except when the Colts are on, of course).

So here's the main point of the story. Rick Harrison runs the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop, north of the strip in Las Vegas (the official Ian Shane preferred vacation spot). It's actually owned by his father "The Old Man", and he is grooming his son, "Big Hoss", to one day take over the family business. Corey's best friend, Chumlee, is the Pawn Shop's "village idiot" who is pure unintentional comic relief.

Now most people think of pawn shops as the one seen on Trading Places, seedy and run by Bo Diddley who says things like "In South Philly, it's worth 50 bucks." The show is not quite like that. It's more like "The Antiques Road Show", but people actually sell stuff. Some of the items are very rare and extremely cool. From Leon Spinks' IBF Heavyweight Title Belt to a 1950's Coke bottle dispenser, it's obvious that the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop is a haven for serious collectors. What separates this show with other reality shows is that each minute is a teachable moment. Rick usually knows the value and history of each item, but sometimes he calls in experts to tell more about the merchandise.

Plus if you're into the drama of a reality show, there is plenty of that. The Old Man has a hard time adapting to the changing times. He doesn't understand why everyone is dressed in jeans, and he refuses to admit that he is getting old (like the time he miss identifies a Carson City minted coin, because he couldn't see the "CC" on the bottom of the coin. It's the difference of $50 and $500). Rick struggles to keep things going while in the down economy. It's not that people aren't bringing things in, it's that the collecting market is down. And Big Hoss struggles to earn the trust and respect of his father (buying a boat for $16,000 without consulting his father).

I highly recommend this show. Season 2 starts tonight on the History Channel.