Vegas--Part Deux

Originally posted on ianshane.com 26 April, 2006

Sure, I was in Vegas for the NAB convention, but I spent some quality time away from the Hilton to renew my passion for Vegas. When I went last June, I was but a Vegas novice. Now, I am the master, and I shall pass along the Sin City Survival guide in the TOP 5 THINGS I LEARNED IN VEGAS.

1. If she's wearing black, high heels, and she's always checking her cell phone...
She's a hooker. Plain and simple. I know that we want to believe that she's a hot girl who is genuinely interested in what we have to say, but she's a pro. Sorry. They're crafty too. The really good ones will really chat you up until you're so into her, that you would really consider springing the five bills just to get her in the room. I'd consider letting my Advertising Sales class follow the really good ones around to learn how to pitch a client.

2 Even if you can't afford to stay there, the Venetian is the place to be.
This place is beautiful, and it's fairly easy to win. To this date, the Venetian is the ONLY casino that lost money to me. I don't know how that place stays in business with high rollers like me walking in and winning a grand total of $39.85. They hate me.

3. No matter how good the shoes, your feet will hurt at the end of the day.
I had comfortable shoe with new shock absorbers in the insoles, and I still felt like I walked to Hoboken in six inch heels with a rock in the bottom (not that I do that). Granted, I did a lot of standing and walking, but come on! Dr. Scholls is supposed to handle the job.

4. Penny slots are the dope places to play.
Low return, granted, but the odds are much better. The way to play is to bet as many lines as possible. Don't believe me, ask the kids at the Venetian (see item 2). You can play for hours on $10 and the waitresses will still bring you a scotch.

And, most importantly...

5. Don't drink with Richard.
Email me--I'll tell you the story.